Friday, 2 August 2013

The Thermos Twat

Are you one of these? Are you? I have written about this briefly before in this post but I'm afraid I'm going to have to dedicate a sufficient amount of ink on this one people. Nothing is quite getting my hackles rising (they have been simmering dormant for a little while so I suppose I was bound to erupt at some point) than The Thermos Twat.


If you walk around with one of these surgically attached to your hand then you are 1) probably a teacher and 2) A Thermos Twat. Pic ebay
Now for the last week my children have been doing an intensive swimming course. Given my feelings on swimming lessons (aka a massive con and money making exercise to poor unsuspecting mums who believe their child should be able to swim after 3 years of lessons) this was a big step for me to book. Thankfully, it has worked out just fine and dandy - my eldest has probably swam the equivalent of about 30 lengths plus diving and my daughter appears to be able to swim without floats! Hooray!

The only thing to put on damper on our pleasant morning swim sessions was the appearance of The Thermos Twat poolside.

Yes, without fail, every morning this mum would emerge from the viewing room which had a big glass panel (me and buddy and some other mums sat on a ledge poolside) with this thing glued to her hand. Oh that and her car keys and mobile phone. Seriously what is that urgent? Who is going to call you whilst drinking your coffee not to mention you can't get a signal in the pool. I never once saw her drink from this cup. Honestly, how desperate have you got to be that you make a drink in a thermal cup, put it in the car, drive to a swimming pool, get the kids changed and emerge with this thing? I can't be the only person who thinks this can I?

Are peoples time management skills so poor that they can't fit in a cuppa prior to leaving the house? Could she not wait until after the lesson?  It bugged me probably more than it should have. Why she couldn't leave it on a ledge somewhere whilst walking up and down the poolside - she kept making sure her kids were in the right group. Yup one of those. 

In my imaginary world I ran over grappled with the thermos cup, looked inside to see if there was any liquid inside, whilst testing to see if these things really do keep the drink hot and asked her  "are you going to drink this then?" "what time did you get up today - did you not have time to sit down and drink a coffee?"  I then fling the thermos mug out of the building together with her keys and phone and casually sit down to continue watching the swimming lessons. This little scene is remarkably similar to when I used to imagine just, for the sheer fun of it, flinging someone's shopping basket up in the air! I once told my husband about my imaginary acts (although never acted out) who quite flatly replied "NO?!" followed by "you are a fruitcake" when I asked didn't he ever feel like doing that sometimes?

I digress.  I think the thermos is a bit of red herring though if truth be told. Isn't this really about people thinking they are more important than they actually are? I don't know. I looked up in a cafe this week to find The Laptop Loser - you know the person that has to have a coffee with their laptop doing 'important' work type stuff. Seriously why would you come to a cafe to work? This woman was also plugged in talking on her mobile earpiece thingy in addition to her laptop and coffee. Next we'll be taking 'selfies' uploading them to twitter of our thermos cup, laptop and coffee all in one.

I just want to get off this self absorbed, social clap trap for a few days. I want the yellow pages back, phones that you have to put 10p in to work and if you need to know anything you have to look it up at the library.

Is that too much to ask? Is it? Or are you of a Thermos Twat persuasion?

Until tomorrow...




13 comments:

  1. Pleased to say I'm not a Thermos Twat. A fellow school governor turns up for meetings with one and I always think bad thoughts!

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    1. Glad to hear it - was thinking when would you ever need one of this...see below!! x

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  2. I have to hold my hand up in defense of my dad who owns one of those. However, I believe his reason to be legit. He spends hours in his field looking after the horses and messing on the tractor so he takes one with him for his mid morning break save coming back to the house. Can he be excused please, miss?

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    1. Ok Dad is allowed one and I even thought maybe the hubster who, incidentally, was given one free by the tool hire company he uses. But he said why an earth would I need that?! x

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  3. I do have one I'm afraid but I bought it to use at school but if I'm honest I hate the bloody thing as it makes the tea so hot you can't drink it without burning your mouth for the first two hours and it makes your drinks taste like shit. So I have reverted to bottles of water now instead.

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    1. NO!!! Not you!!See its teachers! Teachers love these things - I see them in the playground holding them whilst reception kids are running around I'm glad you've seen the light - so they are actually rubbish as well even more of a reason to boycott them. Now I do own a flask...x

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  4. Oh dear, it would seem my husband is a Twat then!

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    1. Sorry!!! Where does he use it? There appears to be a lot out there! Love the blog btw have followed x

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  6. Only in the car. He is always late in the mornings so I put his coffee in it which wakes him up on his long journey to his office. He doesn't use it in public! Thanks for following, I am following too X

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    1. Ahhh so at least he's not parading around here, there and everywhere with it - I feel bad now all these people who own one!! Ta muchly for the follow x

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  7. Lucky you're perfect, Natasha! And are they any worse than people carrying their water bottles everywhere - I read lately that people constantly sipping are creating themselves some nasty wrinkles! Cheers

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    1. Blimey far from it! Forgot about the water bottles - maybe I should it to anyone who drinks on the go! x

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