Sunday, 25 August 2013

THE BATTLE OF BALCOMBE

This next, very entertaining post is from my sister - Sharon.  She feels a bit hard done by this name but our mum still maintains "it wasn't common at the time" - we'd have to dispute this as there were a hell of a lot of Sharon's kicking around the 1970's. Plus the fact she was named after the murdered Sharon Tate - I think she has good grounds to feel a tad bitter about her chosen name.  Don't get me started on the fact that NONE of us have middle names. 

This blog post is one of many day to day encounters she has.  And if you think I've got serious issues then you ain't seen nothing yet!! Enjoy!

Believe it or not, those exact words were said by the lovely Fiona Bruce on the BBC news this week. Whilst she was, of course, referring to the Fracking debacle (love that word!) that is currently being disputed by the genteel folk of Balcombe (and help from the great unwashed from Brighton), in my mind, she was actually referring to the daily battle I have in the morning preparing for my commute into London Bridge station.



What my sister would really like to wave at the 'nutter' every morning! picture god knows where she got it from!
Picture the scene....an idyllic Victorian station, wooden ticket office (unmanned, but that is another story), flower troughs which are regularly re-filled with lovely plant varieties (all colour co-ordinated naturally) and even a Bentley in the car park!!    

The Clientele range from very well spoken gentlemen, ladies with not one but TWO Mulberry handbags, a woman who bares an uncanny resemblance to the Home Secretary and the nutter..... There's always a nutter, and they always home in on me.  I can normally deal with nutters, however this one is crafty.... there is unwritten etiquette at the station...it may seem petty to the non-believers but it keeps things in check and that's how we like it. Now, I've been catching the 07.19 every morning for the last 10 years and have earned my patch of platform in the morning. IT IS MINE!! It measures 10cm x20cm and is the spot just after the Balcombe sign halfway down the platform. It is the exact spot that the front doors to carriage number 6 open....to the millimetre.

One day I turn up and The Nutter is standing there..ON MY SPOT...OK, fair enough, maybe she didn't realise so I stand that bit too close to try and shoo her away...This is my normal tactic in these situations (as sometimes there are first-timers who don't know the rules). It always works as nothing needs to be said and I smile evilly as I can almost hear them thinking 'WTF...there's the WHOLE platform, why is she standing so close to me?!' and then they move away....jobs a good 'un.     However, she stood her ground and, not only that, proceeded to barge in front of me and nab the last remaining space in the carriage. Well, I can tell you, I was livid! This went on for about 2 weeks - a Mexican stand off - every day for 2 weeks. Boy, was it stressful, but there was no way I was going to relinquish my spot and I'm glad to report that the Battle of Balcombe has ended in victory to yours truly (and without bloodshed, although I was tempted). I WON!

I realise that this probably says a lot more about me than about her, but its the small victories that count!!....She still gets on at Balcombe but stands at the other end of the platform now (and more likely than not thinking, 'What a Nutter!')

And to the Protesters who really have something to fight for, lets hope they have Commuters amongst them ! Good luck........ !!

5 comments:

  1. Your sister is awesome even if her name is a little suspect. It does sound like something that would pee me off too.

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    1. Yes she is very funny and can tell a story or two - her name is so naff its probably got cult status now! x

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  2. I had one friend called Sharon who changed her name to Sharonna in the 1980s. Meanwhile my 4yo daughter, who has a perfectly beautiful name, now only wants me to call her Liesl. Guess what we've been watching?

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    1. I love that - Sharonna - going to call her that from now on. I have no idea who she's been watching!!! I am behind the times x

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    2. The Sound of Music. She wants to be Liesl, as I did at her age.

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