Tuesday, 20 August 2013

PERFECT BLOG, PERFECT MUM?

The 1970's Diet has gone on a blogging holiday - no, not where you go away and blog, that sounds like a nightmare - I am having a holiday from blogging - for two weeks to be precise. But fear not my lovely followers, I have a few quest posts lined up to tickle your fancy. Get me! The very first guest post is by an anonymous blogger. He/She cuts the crap, the polish and shine off the blogging community and asks a few questions that I am sure many occasionally ponder about themselves and others...

Who do you blog for?


You. Yes, you. You with the perfect blog. You with the blog full of smiles and heart warming sentiments. Who do you blog for?
 
You blog for your children, you say. You blog to remind them of all the lovely times they had when they were young, you say. You blog to keep a record of all their amazing achievements, you say. I only focus on the positive because I'm SO lucky, you say.
 
Really? Do you really? There's not a teensy-weensy bit of you that blogs for yourself? That blogs for your ego perhaps? That blogs so when your children grown up, you can ram it down their throats what a perfect mum you were? That blogs for your followers who comment and reinforce your illusion of having the perfect life and perfect kids and being the perfect mum?
 
"I secretly thought I was perfect but now these people who I don't even know have said so, it really must be true."
 
Do you know what I say?
 
BULLSHIT.
 
Absolute bullshit.
 
You put you life out there in the open, you put your kids out there in the open...you're doing it for yourself and your ego. You can claim other motives...community, like-mindedness, feedback...but I think we both know that's not true.
 
You with the perfect blog. Have you really thought things through? Have you really thought about what you're doing to your kids? How does only writing about the good days and good school reports benefit them? Ignoring the bad days and days when things weren’t quite so great means you're presenting a false childhood to them. Or perhaps that’s what you want. You want them to remember their childhood in your image of it. The technicolour perfect image. Because after all, we wouldn’t want the little darlings thinking you were anything less than amazing, would we?

But have you considered that this will put a ridiculous amount of pressure on them as future parents to try and recreate this idyllic childhood that you've sold them? And how does that make you feel? How does it make you feel that you're selling them a lie? A lie that they might drive them to feel unbelievably inferior and like a failure trying to recreate? Do you feel so perfect now?
 
I think we both know the truth, don’t we?

The perfect blog doesn’t equal the perfect mum, it equals a work of fiction.



OUCH!! Thank you to my anon blogger. What do you think? Is there an element of truth in this post? Do you question what's it all about? Over to you.....

12 comments:

  1. What a load of crap. I don't know any bloggers who blog as described above but as I can only speak for myself, here are my responses.
    1. Of course I blog for myself. Unless you are a parent with unlimited wealth to pay for babysitters three times a week, a mother finds herself alone in the house when the kids are asleep, night after night. If I were an artist or into crafts I'd paint and make things. But my hobby is writing so I blog. It gives me access to a community - virtual company as it were, and something creative to do in the long lonely evenings.
    2. I, and most parent bloggers I know, also blog about the hard bits of parenting, the tantrums, the tearing your hair out days, the occasional loss of self confidence/worth/esteem when your world is home-park-shops-park-home. Most blogs show a balance of real life whilst not bitching about your own children as that would not be fair.
    3. As for keeping a record. It's no different from keeping a diary. How amazing would it be to access to your Great-grandmother's or Grandmother's diary? I think it would be awesome. And I would love to read about my own mother's experiences in the 1960s.
    4. No one blogs as a service to anyone. We blog because we love it. I used to belong to the local arthouse cinema, go country dancing, meet friends in cafes for coffee or drinks. Now I blog. When I no longer need babysitters (or win the lottery) I may stop blogging and return to some of the above.
    5. Who exactly is this this mythical blogger that the writer is addressing?
    That's all.

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    1. Hello my dear - I have returned. Whilst I was away there was talk on a fb bloggers group about do you delete a comment if it doesn't agree - hell no! I always enjoy your comments and I wouldn't dream of doing that. You make valid points re single mum, it being your hobby and I agree there are lots of blogs that talk about tough days - the honest blogs are the only ones I read to be honest. I don't hang around for boring bullshit and to be honest blogs that are totally about child rearing bore me senseless so whilst I can see where the anon is coming from I don't frequent these blogs he/she is talking about. I'm liking your past hobbies and I don't know which blogs in particular that they are referring to but the post was open season for someone to write what pisses them off on my blog rather than there own. I personally am bored of the blogs that are 99.9% full of reviews. x

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    2. And I should maybe go away and count to 10 before commenting my gut reaction. I know there are blogs that are just too sugary and perfect and I hate them too.

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    3. Now where would the fun be in that - I always take to type immediately if something gets my goat and to be honest if you are a blogger and think hold on that's not me then I'd probably write something similar! x

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  2. Whereas I actually think that there's a lot of truth in it for many. I'm tired of reading about perfect children, perfect lives and pretty cupcakes. I really appreciate it when people write about the bad/hard/ugly stuff and admit that they're not perfect. many do, but there are a lot of parent bloggers who don't, and for them I'm pretty sure it's to do with ego and insecurity and getting validation from others to make themselves feel better.

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    1. Ok firstly how have I not stopped by your blog? Love the retro look - anyhow back to the task in hand. I think the blogger has touched on something - clearly there are blogs out there as you and (see below) - what I want now is links to them so I can have a gander! x

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  3. It's a bit harshly put but I kind of get what the writer means. There's a few blogs that I've stopped reading recently because they're just the 'same old, same old'. Always wonderful kids, perfect recipes, fantastic crafts. I want to see a bit of mess, an admition that the gorgeous boy in the white outfit smeared chocolate on his top after the picture was taken, that the mum has gin at the ready for the moment the kids are in bed. But maybe because I appreciate a bit of humour. If I wrote a perfect blog, I'm pretty sure my boys would never believe it when they grow up anyway.

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    1. Hello missus thanks for dropping by - I think if you have open season on a blog you can write how you would like to rather than how you should so as not to upset PR's etc - not that I have that problem. As I said to Rachel I don't stop by anything that is gushy and vomit inducing to read posts but maybe I should for entertainment value alone! x

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  4. Very good very good I love to read all of your blogs....

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    1. Think this may be spam but hey ho - love you too! x

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    2. LOL - I'm with you, anything that doesn't have a dubious link attached is in. :)

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