Well I haven't done one of these for a while. At the moment I'm babysitting for a friend and typing on her old fashioned keyboard - big and chunky keys - "oi you cheeky bastard!" I can hear her say. Tis true. I did bring my funky laptop but I need the code for her wifi. I don't think that this is a worthy enough reason to text her on a night out with the hubster at a 40th birthday party. She's not 40 by the way - she's 33 and worries about turning 40 as everyone she knows are "miserable bastards when they hit 40."
In any event, who know's their wifi code? I am 100% certain she does not. I have the crap-factor on in the background and one of her cats is eyeballing me. I think he likes me. The other one certainly does not as he (it could be a she who knows) has the intellectual capacity to realise that a stranger is in town. I'm not going to squirt him with water or bang my foot loudly like I do with the cats that stray into my garden. So rest easy cat lovers. Its black and got the arse ache when I dared to lean back on the sofa. He looked like he'd take no prisoners so I perched my bum on the edge of the sofa. Its currently sharpening its claws as I type ready to attack at any given moment. Maybe he can sense I don't do cats although we did have one when I was younger. Its name was Fang and incidentally was also black so I don't quite know what my problem with them is. I digress.
Well she looked lovely in her new dress, high heels and still tanned legs from the summer. She is living proof of what eating healthily and working out can do for you. She used to be a size 16 and is now a size 12. It took the best part of a year but she's kept it off and with no faddy diet. If truth be told she was my inspiration for this diet in the first place.
Still I'd rather be here. This party doesn't sound like a barrel of laughs. The invite specified to "eat before you come" What kind of party tells you to eat some dinner because they'll be nothing to nibble on with your alcoholic drink when you get there? No cocktail sausages, no stale sandwiches, no cold chicken goujons and no vol-aux-vents! You all know my thoughts on them - a party just ain't a party without these buggers. That's one party I don't want an invite to. Its on a par with "no children at a wedding" - what is wrong with people? Top tip for throwing a party - make sure your guests (you know the ones you invited to celebrate your birthday and give you presents) have something to eat. Skinflints. It gets worse though, not only are there no chicken legs awaiting my friend and her husband she had to totter out of here with 20 frigging cupcakes she was asked to make to bring to the party! Oh lordy, yes there is only going to be a giant cupcake which some other poor bastard has had to make and cupcakes made by other guests. Yes cakes and alcohol a winning combination. I digress. Again.
So, the chit chat was this. I've had a busy week which has meant I've only been able to exercise once. I will get out on the bike tomorrow so will be twice by tomorrow. I had a meeting with our head teacher at school together with the chair of governors who happens to be a councillor. There were 5 of us representing the PTA. We had written a stroppy letter about the school's proposal to change to two form entry. Stroppy in that we threatened them with legal action and gave them 7 days to respond to letters we wrote in July and answers to more questions. I do not take too kindly to people talking to me in a condescending and patronising manner. How dare I have the audacity to challenge anything. I wanted answers and I gave it to her straight. I fear no one and she got the wrath of my tongue. If you are a councillor may I remind you that you are a civil servant so people have the right to question you. I couldn't sleep that night as I had failed to mention that. I will always fight for what I believe in.
Then I had an appointment at hospital to get a mole I have on my lip checked out. Its not raised its just this brown mark that looks like I've been sucking on a biro. Its covered by lipstick but I'm aware of it when the lipstick has worn off. Anyhow, its not skin cancer and I can have it removed and the lip will heal naturally. So that's good. I can't be doing with all these maintenance appointments. They're a real pain and you have to sort childcare out and blah. The same day I had a huge filling re-done on a tooth that has had root canal (that's a long story I'll tell it another day) so the dentist says you won't feel a thing - no need for numbing the tooth. ARSE. It did hurt when she was pushing right down on this metal thing wrapped around my tooth. I thought you didn't tell me that you bastard. Tears were rolling down my face. It had been a long day. By the time the seat had pushed me up I did regain my composure. I thought get a grip woman you've had 3 c-sections. A small part of me did think if I cry and tell her it was really painful she might let me off £95 but like I said it was only fleetingly.
I had a much better day on Friday as I met an old friend I used to work with. She's 58 and I'm 38 - that's how we remember how old we are, as there is exactly 20 years between us. I took buddy who was well behaved colouring in and the like and we catched up on all the gossip. It never is long enough. I've always enjoyed her company. She used to be my boss in my job before my job that I left pre-children. At first us young ones weren't too happy about her arrival as we'd heard she was a bit fierce. She was but in a good way. She knew her stuff and was this mad organiser. I'd never seen anything like it and still haven't. We used to joke that if didn't move it'll be laminated. Anyhow, I enjoy chatting to her, she always has sound words of wisdom and can be trusted with all manner of confidential stuff. Plus the fact she said my blog was like a magazine! Its always good to have a maternal figure in your life.
So that's my chit chat. The parents are coming around tomorrow so more blogging fodder. Until then, I bid you goodnight.