Okay I'm not some dieting expert but I have lost weight and am continuing to do so. I reckon that counts for something. So listen up. Here are my Top Ten 'The 1970's Diet' Tips - Keeping it real people, keeping it real.
1. Ignore the dieting band wagon
Every bugger will be on a diet the moment you start or most certainly during your diet. They generally post their achievements on facebook and the like. But I guarantee it will then go quiet when they've had a heavy week or two. Take no notice. Continue as you were. By the time you lose all your weight they would have put it all back on again - not once but twice over. The moral of the story is ignore other people on the dieting band wagon. Your weight loss journey is the only one that matters.
2. Being picked up
Ultimately what you weigh does not matter. Now you may struggle with this one as us women are a slave to the scales - digital or manual. No one is ever going to pick you up and say loudly "mmm you feel about 14 stone to me" before passing you on to the next person to see what they estimate. Its never going to happen. Obviously its a good barometer of how large you have become. Most people want to lose weight to look nice - aesthetically being slimmer is keener on the eye and clothes look nicer, you feel confident and all is good with the world. Although health should be the main driver it isn't. If it were you would never have got fat in the first place.
3. Be selfish
Make time for exercise. You will not find it anywhere. It is essential and proven that your diet will be more successful. It also makes you stop and think "do I really want to eat 200 cals the very same 200 cals I've just busted my ass off for?" The answer is no in case you are unsure. Do something you enjoy. I love the Wii/X Box Kinect fitness games - its not a chore. I am most happy during and after completing these. It needs to be done 3 x a week.
Don't agree to every coffee/lunch date that comes your way just because someone who couldn't be arsed to see you for ages now wants to catch up. That would be the slim person that wants to catch up by the way. Only meet up if it doesn't interfere with your exercise schedule and weight loss. That also includes a fun night out.
I have three children - one at home and two at school. If I can work out a minimum 3x a week during the day anyone can. The same goes for school holidays.
4. Plan your week.
Look at the week and pencil in the best time you can make time for your exercise and any food danger zones. Things will always happen during the week that will throw you off course - just re-plan. I have a blackboard in the kitchen detailing our weekly meals. It makes life very easy and harder to just have a blow out. Having said this I do occasionally put a rubbish dinner (rice based) by Saturday which prompts groans and the word "take-away".
5. Banish child talk
This normally stems from slimming clubs. Talk of 'being good this week' 'being bad this week'. You are not 8 years old. You are a grown woman so treat your diet as such. If you've eaten the right things to lose weight then say that. If you've eaten stuff that won't make you lose weight then say that. The being 'good' and being 'bad' gives an air of 'oohhh you are awful... but you like me". You are not Dick Emery.
6. Buy nice undies
This one is a bit magazine like but is still a good one. A good bra and knicker set preferably matching will make you feel better. Have a clear out of all your clothes. A cluttered cupboard is a cluttered mind. Free yourself of all clutter, make lists and get organised. You need to focus on the cause.
7. Enjoy the weight you're at.
Even if its 17, 15 stone whatever it is. It could be worse. What if you had an accident you couldn't exercise you were pumped full of steriods? You'd be a lot fatter than you are now. There's someone somewhere who would kill to be your weight whatever you weigh. You're not purporting to be slim so don't be down when you go out. Wear stuff that fits. Don't shoe horn yourself into stuff. The glory days are behind you for the time being - you can't live off past glories. Comfort before denial. Repeat to yourself that you are doing something about it. It will make you feel happier and will lead to success. Remember people are so self absorbed that they won't even be looking at you. They're thinking about themselves and guaranteed if they are slim they are thinking they should lose a few pounds.
8. Do not celebrate/commiserate
After your weekly weigh in by stuffing your face. This will lead to the next day and the next and before you know it that one day binge has screwed up your entire week. Cue victim mode. If you weren't on a diet you wouldn't do it so don't do it whilst on a diet.
9. Beware of the Saboteur
That's the person (normally a slim 'friend' who can afford to eat what they want) who feels threatened by your weight loss. I hate these fuckers. They would force feed you if they could.They're the ones that say "go on, one won't hurt" "are you sure?" "mmm". Recognise. Compute. Wanker.
10. Embrace Hunger
Do not fear The Hunger. Hunger is good. You're meant to be hungry on a diet. Get over it. It means your stomach is shrinking. Worry when you're not hungry between each meal. If you're not you've eaten too much. Embrace it!
So there you have it. What do you think? Any others you can think of or have I just about covered it?