Saturday, 30 June 2012

Le Tour! Le Tour!

I'm so excited! If you only watch one sporting event this year it should be Le Tour de France. I just love it and I'm about to tell you why. 

I started watching it probably around 2007/2008 and was hooked straight away. To be honest I didn't quite understand it all. Like I couldn't understand why the teams weren't all from one country. The teams comprise of many different nationalities. I couldn't quite figure out all the different jerseys - polka dot for King of the Mountains, green for the Sprinter, white for Youngest Rider etc. Then there was the Peloton and what that all meant, pace making, helping team mates, time trails, the points that can be collected along the way. But you soon pick it up and that's all part of it. Figuring out all the rules!  If you are a novice watcher then just go with the flow and you'll soon get it.

After that you then start thinking about all the practicalities like what they eat, what if they need the toilet and stuff like that. Only a women eh?!

There are so many reasons to love it. It lasts for 3 weeks, the scenery is spectacular whatever you think of the French (bit moody, serious - that's just my opinion!) you have to agree the country is stunning.  I mean they have sun and skiing for goodness sake. Its the 2nd most popular holiday destination in the world and they show case their country beautifully.

Mark Cavendish in his green jersey - all pics the tour's facebook page

I love the characters (aka the cyclists) Mark Cavendish, Bradley Wiggins, The Schleck brothers, Cadel Evans and my personal favourite Jens Voigt all of which you can find on twitter. I love the bitching, the crashes, the eye balling, the excitment, the sheer amazing stamina of these guys, the crowds who get way too close to the riders and who I scream at to get back especially up the Alps. The man that wears the red devil costume - look out for him he's always there. The camper vans all parked up on the side of the road, the many different flags from all over the globe waving furiously, the signs on the road saying 'Allez Cavendish' and the like, the motorcylists that film the action. The speed these cyclists go down hill is quite breathtaking.

We have an outstanding bunch of athletes that are British. Sadly only recently people in this country began to talk of Mark Cavendish when outside his own country he is well known. The call him the Manc Missile - (he's from the Isle of Man) and is an outstanding sprinter. He won the green jersey last year and well deserved to. Prior to that he won lots of stages the previous year. I'm hoping he can do a repeat perfomance. His team always lead him out for him to pick up the points on the flat parts of the stages. You can see him at the back in the Alps. He will never come first on this stage!

My son also loves it and what a lovely bunch of role models. They don't whore themselves around like footballers. They are dedicated and anyone that can travel at speeds of a car around a county on 2 inflatable tyres has got my upmost respect.

Stunning - just stunning

You have to be an all rounder to win the Tour de France and this year we really are in a great chance of winning it with Bradley Wiggins. I say we but he rides for Team Sky but he's British and I was so gutted last year when he broke his collar bone in the middle of the Pelaton. Someone fell off and he then tumbled. His tour was over. 

Last year one of the cars that film the tour and follow the riders knocked off two cyclists. It was awful. Thankfully they were okay. 

In 2009 we went to Paris on our honeymoon and watched the final stage of the Tour. They do several laps. We waited for 3 hours at our little spot just to cheer on Bradley, Mark and the others Geraint Thomas another great cyclist. The atmosphere was brilliant. The hover of the helicoptors that film the event, the flags, the team cars, the cyclists throwing their water bottles. I highly recommend it.

So I am off now to watch ITV 4's coverage of this great event. I hope you join me.

Allez Le Tour de France!!!

Wednesday, 27 June 2012

Top Ten Tips

Okay I'm not some dieting expert but I have lost weight and am continuing to do so. I reckon that counts for something. So listen up. Here are my Top Ten 'The 1970's Diet' Tips - Keeping it real people, keeping it real.

1. Ignore the dieting band wagon

Every bugger will be on a diet the moment you start or most certainly during your diet. They generally post their achievements on facebook and the like.  But I guarantee it will then go quiet when they've had a heavy week or two. Take no notice. Continue as you were. By the time you lose all your weight they would have put it all back on again - not once but twice over. The moral of the story is ignore other people on the dieting band wagon. Your weight loss journey is the only one that matters.

2. Being picked up

Ultimately what you weigh does not matter. Now you may struggle with this one as us women are a slave to the scales - digital or manual. No one is ever going to pick you up and say loudly "mmm you feel about 14 stone to me" before passing you on to the next person to see what they estimate. Its never going to happen. Obviously its a good barometer of how large you have become. Most people want to lose weight to look nice - aesthetically being slimmer is keener on the eye and clothes look nicer, you feel confident and all is good with the world.  Although health should be the main driver it isn't. If it were you would never have got fat in the first place.

3. Be selfish

Make time for exercise. You will not find it anywhere. It is essential and proven that your diet will be more successful. It also makes you stop and think "do I really want to eat 200 cals the very same 200 cals I've just busted my ass off for?" The answer is no in case you are unsure.  Do something you enjoy. I love the Wii/X Box Kinect fitness games - its not a chore. I am most happy during and after completing these. It needs to be done 3 x a week.

Don't agree to every coffee/lunch date that comes your way just because someone who couldn't be arsed to see you for ages now wants to catch up. That would be the slim person that wants to catch up by the way. Only meet up if it doesn't interfere with your exercise schedule and weight loss. That also includes a fun night out.

I have three children - one at home and two at school. If I can work out a minimum 3x a week during the day anyone can. The same goes for school holidays.

4. Plan your week.

Look at the week and pencil in the best time you can make time for your exercise and any food danger zones.  Things will always happen during the week that will throw you off course - just re-plan. I have a blackboard in the kitchen detailing our weekly meals. It makes life very easy and harder to just have a blow out. Having said this I do occasionally put a rubbish dinner (rice based) by Saturday which prompts groans and the word "take-away".

5. Banish child talk

This normally stems from slimming clubs. Talk of 'being good this week' 'being bad this week'. You are not 8 years old. You are a grown woman so treat your diet as such. If you've eaten the right things to lose weight then say that. If you've eaten stuff that won't make you lose weight then say that.  The being 'good' and being 'bad' gives an air of 'oohhh you are awful... but you like me". You are not Dick Emery.

6. Buy nice undies

This one is a bit magazine like but is still a good one. A good bra and knicker set preferably matching will make you feel better. Have a clear out of all your clothes. A cluttered cupboard is a cluttered mind. Free yourself of all clutter, make lists and get organised. You need to focus on the cause. 

7. Enjoy the weight you're at.

Even if its 17, 15 stone whatever it is. It could be worse. What if you had an accident you couldn't exercise you were pumped full of steriods? You'd be a lot fatter than you are now. There's someone somewhere who would kill to be your weight whatever you weigh. You're not purporting to be slim so don't be down when you go out. Wear stuff that fits. Don't shoe horn yourself into stuff. The glory days are behind you for the time being - you can't live off past glories. Comfort before denial. Repeat to yourself that you are doing something about it. It will make you feel happier and will lead to success. Remember people are so self absorbed that they won't even be looking at you. They're thinking about themselves and guaranteed if they are slim they are thinking they should lose a few pounds.

8. Do not celebrate/commiserate

After your weekly weigh in by stuffing your face. This will lead to the next day and the next and before you know it that one day binge has screwed up your entire week. Cue victim mode. If you weren't on a diet you wouldn't do it so don't do it whilst on a diet.

9. Beware of the Saboteur

That's the person (normally a slim 'friend' who can afford to eat what they want) who feels threatened by your weight loss. I hate these fuckers. They would force feed you if they could.They're the ones that say "go on, one won't hurt" "are you sure?" "mmm". Recognise. Compute. Wanker.

10. Embrace Hunger

Do not fear The Hunger. Hunger is good. You're meant to be hungry on a diet. Get over it. It means your stomach is shrinking. Worry when you're not hungry between each meal. If you're not you've eaten too much.  Embrace it!

So there you have it. What do you think? Any others you can think of or have I just about covered it?

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Tuesday Weigh In

What? What is this you speak of? Isn't it normally Monday weigh in missus? It is and I did weigh myself yesterday but events took over and I never got a chance to do a post. 

-1lb. It could have been so much better but I'll take any loss. If you put on 1lb or 2lb you really notice it. I've come to learn over these months that a loss is worth a smile and it should give you some pleasure.  If it doesn't then you need to give yourself a slap. Its all good.

When biscuits go bad
Up to Friday I have to say I was outstanding on the food front.  I really feel I've conquered my snack binging and I don't pig out after a Monday weigh to celebrate a loss or commiserate a gain. I find this is what you always do when you join a slimming club. I truly feel free of the slimming club merry go round. I had also worked out 3x prior to Friday.

Then I did some extreme baking for the summer fair. I got a bit carried away and when it came to digging out my crown biscuit cutters I lost the will to decorate them. Hence the state of them. I was also reporting Bannergate on the phone to the police (see previous post). So I did have 2 x cupcakes in the course of that day and tested a biscuit. Other than that my food intake was fine - nice and healthy and portions were a slimmers size.

Enter children.  My son who seems to have seasonal asthma (first discovered this when he was 6 on sports day) had a cough and cold all week.  On Thursday he had been coughing in the early hours so we both didn't get much sleep. I gave him cough medicine and his inhaler. I should have kept him off but I sent him in and told the teacher (the same teacher I have complained about as she makes my daughter cry every Thursday) that he was to miss PE and to phone me if he wasn't well. So when I pick him up on Friday she says "oh I let him sleep for 20 minutes". Another teacher came out too and seemed to be cross about it all - she said "he was lying on the floor when I looked at him". I knew immediately that this was him struggling to breath (he's shy my son so he didn't say I need to go home etc despite my briefing him). I took him to the doctors and thankfully didn't have to go to A&E. There is a point with asthma of no return. He was prescribed antibiotics and steroids.

Extreme baking - DO NOT try this at home
Saturday I ran the Racing Royals game at the school fair. What is it with kids these days? Every child was like "what's the prize if you win?". They were only interested if the prize was deemed worthy. Anyhow the fair was a bit flat and less than a third turned out - approx £2,000 was made.

That night we had a Chinese take-away. I had lemon chicken but also had some ribs, prawn crackers, special fried rice and prawn toast washed down with some wine. Good job my week had been good as there's no way I would have lost anything.

Early hours of Monday morning my daughter is coughing and the dent (I don't know the technical name) of her collar bone is going in and out like mad. The doctor said on Thursday that this is a dangerous sign as it means the child is struggling to breath. So I kept her and my son off school yesterday. All 3 were home and I managed to get the housework done but not much else.

So I went to bed a 5pm yesterday hence the no blog post. I also took my daughter to the doctors today (missing her sports day) and she now has an inhaler but it may just be cold induced. This poxy 'summer' weather is to blame - one minute cold, next sunny.

Oh a pair of black stretch jeans from M&S arrived and they fit lovely! So today I am working out for the first time since Thursday and lets hope everything runs smoothly from today onwards.

Until next week...

Thursday, 21 June 2012

Let me take you back.. 1997.  Funny how some blog posts just find you.  I had several in my blog locker -The Food Doctor - an imaginary fella I've invented in a desperate attempt for my son to try foods other than plain bread and not much else.  This is in the same category as 'Naughty Land' i.e "do you want to go to Naughty Land?..where all the naughty boys and girls go.. no toys, games etc".  Don't worry the kids are now aware there is no such thing. It makes them chuckle but it did work for a little while.

Cherie Blair gave me a "why are intelligent women so thick? blog post on the back of her women need to be 'satisfied' by going out to work comment.  Oh do piss off Cherie. I am so satisfied I cannot tell you. Staying at home is the ultimate freedom in my eyes and I had a few others up my sleeve.

Then this one just found me and funnily enough it dates back to 1997 the very month and year that Cherie's husband became our Prime Minister - oh what a disappointment you were. 

I was sorting out my wicker hamper baskets today (I have about 3 and my Fortnum & Mason one takes pride of place) to give to the school for the summer hamper.  I can't bring myself to do it though - I'll see if I can get one in a charity shop. Before you say that's not very charitable let me tell you I do lots and will be baking most of the day Friday.

So I found my backpacking around Europe diary from May 1997. If I may I will give you a little extract. It made me laugh in parts and I hope it does for you too. Even back then I was a ranter and I didn't even know it. There appears to be a lot of 'bastards' in Europe too.

Sun 4th May

9.50pm overnight couchette to Berlin. What a palava - shared with moody Germans had top bunks. The bells were ringing on the railway track just like in the films. Me and Cath pissed ourselves laughing.

Berlin was a pisser to start with waited outside Tourist info moody fucking German bastards - walked back to Zoo station to get map - walked back to book ticket to Warsaw and paid for a shower. Eventually got on 100 bus. Bus driver v-friendly thought it might not be so bad after all. Changed bus to 128 driver showed us youth hostel. Shared room with lone travelling American lives in Switzerland called Barbara. Did the sights not much to see under construction. Had a kebab. Got up missed train to Warsaw ran down road like pair of prats got on train to Krakow - spoke to friendly Polish man who recommended Jazz club in city. Passport got stamped yippee! Got to Krakow at 5.10 am bit daunting even though small. Bus driver drove off without us, bastard. Bought phone card attempted ringing hostel  - got on next bus friendly bus driver - arrived yippee! Shared with 2 from Leeds a bit odd. Had Heineken, steak and chips for £4 between us.

Thursday 8th May

Got train to Krakow Platza had to take tram no 6 journey took 1 hour 30 mins. Big step to the train. Some drunken young poles on train but we didn't get any hassle. Got to Oswichem and bus driver took us to Austwitz. It was pouring down with rain which was quite fitting as it brought a lump to your throat you can't describe it.  I tried not to really visualise it.  Got taxi back - driver spoke English but we still didn't understand a word he said! Got train back guy we saw at orbis shop and friend came on tram with us. They didn't bother getting a ticket and the inspectors came on - they were chucked off. We did say thou. Had pizza in self service place was ok didn't have much money. I haven't seen one good looking Pole man!

10 May

Got overnight train to Budapest - shared carriage with divvy Americans x 3 - didn't get much sleep as passport control waked us up 3 times. Customs took a New Zealand couple off train in the middle of Slovakia as they had taken cigarettes out....

Crikey no nationality was safe on my travels were they? Anyway I thought I'd share and I hope you enjoyed this little snippet of our travels. Let me know if you would like some more - maybe it could be a new monthly feature?

Back to dieting matters. I hate using the phrase "being good" as it does makes you sound about 6 so let us just say everything is good this end. I've worked out 3 x this week already and my food intake has been healthy (see food diary).  I have even snacked on carrot sticks and bought brown rice today. 

Until next time...

Monday, 18 June 2012

Monday Weigh In

Get me with an afternoon post on a Monday. That's because my son was chosen to take part in a science experiment after school every Monday for 5 weeks, so pick up is not until 4.15pm.  My daughter was able to join the board games club for this period so this saves me from two school runs.

Anyway, its 1lb on from 2 weeks ago. Meaning I'm 12 stone 10 lbs.  I didn't weigh myself last week remember? After all the jubilee festivities, even though I would sooner not have a monarchy. Didn't stop me eating various red, white and blue food stuffs though did it.  What a bloomin' hypocrite! Coupled with a rainy half term and very little exercise I just couldn't face it. I couldn't face reality and stayed away from the scales. It could have sent me over the edge with a "what's the point attitude". I am assuming that I put on at least 3lbs over that week as I could really feel it in my belly etc. So whilst, on the face of it, it looks like a gain I'm confident it was a loss! If that all makes sense.

So, I have worked out today 20 mins on the biggest loser, I did 4 x workouts last week.  It should have been 5 but I'll take 4. I love exercising I have to say it makes me very happy. I was feeling mighty gloomy today what with it being Monday, cleaning etc but after my work out I felt uplifted. I have ordered a new workout game for the X-box Kinect.

Winging its way to my house!

I do love my Biggest Loser workout game but its always good to mix it up and this had some great reviews and was only £17 from Amazon.  I rediscovered my Zumba last week as well. I should really be paid by Wii and X Box shouldn't I?!  Just so you know this ISN'T a sponsored post or review. This game might be crap for all I know and if it is you can rely on me to tell you.

So until next week - my goodness June is nearly drawing to a close and the holiday is coming around so quick.  I will post a picture of me in my bikini - there you go just a bit more pressure and I will keep my word.

Sunday, 17 June 2012

Happy Father's Day!

This is a short and sweet one. We've had a lovely day, the sun is shining and my lemon meringue giant cupcake with lemon curd and double cream filling is a success!

Lemon Meringue Giant Cupcake

My husband had breakfast in bed and lots of lovely homemade gifts made by the kids. One in particular was very good (even if I do say so myself) - I got the kids to make 3 hand prints on a piece of card and then they wrote (with the exception of buddy) why they think their dad is special. Then I popped it in a frame. Genius. Bow. Some on line website was charging £45.00 for that.

So Happy Father's Day to those past and present (my mum and dad are in France holidaying) and lets remember the dad's that don't get to see their kids because the ex is a right biatch!

On that note, see you tomorrow for weigh in. I'm feeling like the jubilee weight has come off. I've worked out 4 x this week and hoping to squeeze a 5th one before the day is over.

Thursday, 14 June 2012

The Pig Parent

I spoke of the 'pig parker' recently as described by Larry David.  Well today was sunny for once and I decided to take buddy on his scooter down to our local park.  Its not far just along the main road, across another main road and we're there.

I was surprised at the number of dads in the park - we were out numbered three to two. Anyhow a young boy (approx 3 years old) in what looked like a brand new top had managed to find the only muddy puddle at the entrance to the park. The mother was sitting with her mother and was probably mid to late twenties.  So the boy is jumping in this puddle and he's got mud splashed all up his lovely new top. The mother has made a couple of feeble "no don't do that" sits back down whilst he merrily ignores her.  I have a friend who's boy is a puddle magnet so I don't think too much about it. Boys will be boys and all that.

So buddy is merrily climbing up steps, walking the plank and finishing off the routine with a slide. Repeat numerous times.  The boy has now decided to put his hands in the puddle. The mum sighs and continues to remain seated chatting.  The boy starts chasing his new found friends - 2 boys of similar age wearing what suspiciously look like brand new tops judging by how WHITE they are!  So now we have the 2 boys running laughing with the muddy puddle hands boy in hot pursuit thinking this game is hilarious. And bringing up the rear is the panic stricken dad who is one stride away from his kids getting splattered with dirty mud prints.

Had Buddy been the boy being chased I would have asked the lady if she would like to follow the boys around to prevent any paw prints. Or alternatively wipe his hands or even stop him from doing it over and over again in the first place.

Now he's not going to say "hey lady wipe this germ ridden crap off your kids hands will you so I can go back to having a little relax on the bench" is he?  I am not on a state of high alert as buddy is still completing his routine for the 14th time. However, this is short lived, as now the little fella has climbed on board covering the whole thing in mud making it a tad difficult to negotiate without buddy getting covered in mud. Its time to go home.

On exit, I'm thinking what a 'Pig Parent'.  Not only do I have to contend with dog shit on route to the park and survey the area within the park, broken glass and discarded plastic bottles - I now have to contend with the 'Pig Parent' who can't be arsed to sort her boy out and put an end to this charade. The Pig Parent has no regard whatsoever for you, your child or anything that may occur as a result of their lazy arsed attitude.

My husband, after relaying this little trip out, said "are you really going to have a little title for things like this?" That would be a yes.

But please people don't blame the child blame the Pig Parent!

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Zip Issues

Yes asides from my normal mental issues I now have zip issues to contend with.  You see I have several dresses in my wardrobe that would look lovely if only the zip would do up.  I have fabric on one side and the zip edge on the other. At the widest point of my back the two are never going to meet. Unless, of course, I lose at least a stone.  Then I would have no issues (I am assuming a stone will do the trick but who knows) and I could stop with the self pity and excuses. I would be in the enviable position, probably normal position for a lot of people, whereby I could put a dress on and zip the whole thing up. Never again would I have to breath in or lay flat on the bed getting some poor bastard to do it up for me. 

Today I was invited to a meal out on Saturday night. I had already pencilled it in but was unsure whether or not I was going because:-

 a) Its not a close friend
 b) I've been out a lot recently, well for me it is alot
 c) weight issues and
 d) I have a meal out in July.  Although you can eat healthily on a night out I tend not to and then I get all leary and drink wine and start laughing at my own jokes and repeating the same thing but just louder. 

A group of nice women are going and it'll probably be a laugh but it will do little for my weight loss which really needs to take off and take off in a hurry.  But more than anything I can't face the "what fits?" scenario and pulling out the repeat fat outfit offenders. So that's the reason why I'm not going. Nothing to wear. Its easier to stay in.

Here is a dress I purchased on line the other week. I've only just tried it on as I couldn't face it beforehand. Its a size 16 and would look lovely if only the bloody thing at the back would do up!  I don't have issues with my legs so much, even my big round bum or my top half - its all the hard tummy in the middle which is the problem. This is giving me no waist or room for anything to fit.  

The dress that was but isn't - zipping up

I would like to wear this dress in a month's time - is this achievable? How many inches would be required if the back at the widest part isn't doing up?  By the way its from Dorothy Perkins and I bought it when they had 30% off everything so it cost £29.00.  My husband thinks it looks very TOWIE even though we don't watch the show i.e wagesque.  Well at this rate he won't be seeing it.

So, will I crack open the frazzles? No.  I'm taking the kids swimming later and even though the euros are on tonight I am going to do my Wii Zumba at 8pm as I ran out of time today. You know how I hate working out in the evening but needs must. 

I need to deal with my zip issues!

Monday, 11 June 2012

Accidentally on Purpose?

Ordinarily Monday's blog post would be entitled "Monday Weigh In" well not today. This is because I haven't weighed myself today. This is only the second time since October that this has occurred. I'm pretty confident I've put on from last weeks festivities.  We also went to a party on Saturday night (a few nibbles) and consoled ourselves that half term was over.  Most would be celebrating would they not? Kids back to school. Not me and quite a few mums actually. I had mammoth lie ins. I mean proper hard core ones like when you were childless 9.30 - 10 am! Buddy is doing me proud. The hubster was off all week, albeit ill, but was feeling better by Friday. So we added a Chinese take-away to the already over indulged week.  I generally do that. If its been a bad week I normally top it with a food finale before I refocus again. I would advise against it if you want speedy results.
It wasn't my intention not to weigh myself or was it? I am certain that sentence has committed untold grammatical errors.  Monday's are busy and I always post late as I have cleaning, sorting and working out to do. I normally weigh myself in the morning but it was raining (has been for 2 days solid now - we've bypassed summer here in the UK) and I forgot. I did fleetingly remember but then I sorted out my wardrobe. I don't have enough space.  I don't have masses of clothes but I seem to be given drawers here and there and its not acceptable. You just end up forgetting clothes that don't fit you somewhere else. He has been informed.

Furthermore, my sister (twin 1) said on Saturday (they were babysitting and the brother-in-law came too - twin 2 is separated - also present) "I don't read your blog for the weight loss!" This was after I  confessed that the probability of a gain was high this week and my 'readers' would soon be leaving if I didn't step up to the plate. Its a diet blog after all.

Twin 1 proceeded to tell me that she had no idea my weight, my weight loss to date and that she had never even looked at my food diary. To add insult to injury she didn't even know my exercise log existed. If you are remotely interested in my weight loss journey there are pages on the right hand side. 

Mmmm.  By all accounts she reads it for the rant value and, I quote, "its interesting". So do any of you read it for my weight loss? I know a few of you do who regularly give me support and encouragement. 

So Saturday we were at this 50th party. It was a sedate affair the music was quiet and the conversation centred around illnesses and collectibles.  I am beginning to discover that when men get to a certain age they collect things. The birthday 'boy' showed us his collection of old bank notes and another chatted about classic cars. This particular chap had pictures on his camera of engine parts.  My eyes had firmly glazed over by that point so I missed all the excitement of his 'car share'. He part owned a fancy car and they take it in turns to drive it.  Where do you start on that one? I won't bother.

In more recent news on the accidental on purpose theme - one of the dad's at school deleted me from facebook but I didn't realise (3 months) until he wanted to post some pictures on my wall.  The penny dropped later on.  I find this sort of thing quite amusing. I like the fact I didn't notice. Maybe the blog is in the school run domain. This has never been my intention and if you do know me and stumble upon it then so be it. I haven't as yet put a disclaimer 'may cause offence' but I don't promote my blog at all and certainly not on facebook. My readers are mostly strangers and that's how I like it. I can write freely then and not have the thought police breathing down my neck.

I unfriended him after the photos as it would have been rude not too and I figured it saves him from doing it again.  Just debating whether to afford the missus the same favour. A cull is long overdue I think.

Finally, can David Cameron give me anymore knob fodder? I mean really this guy is a total prick. Today, it transpires him and the good wife left their 8 year old daughter in a pub. Yup they forgot her. Remembered her when they got home.  Seriously? No its not easily done. You might have a heart stopping moment when you can't locate your child in the park but to leave a building, get in the car, turn on the engine, drive home, put the keys in the door, put the kettle on and....did we forget something....?

This twat is in trusted with running this country and he can't even remember to bring his own child back home with him. The same guy who wants to dish out parenting vouchers. You couldn't make this shit up. It would be hilarious if it wasn't so tragic that he is actually Prime Minister. The guy hasn't got a clue.  Can you imagine if a poor commoner did the same thing - calls to be taken into care and the like would surface. One rule for you DC another for us peasants.  Please, please, please DO NOT VOTE FOR HIM AGAIN. I am counting down the days until we should be rid of bumbling Dave & co.

Until next time...

Friday, 8 June 2012


And that's not my stomach I'm talking about its my mood.  This half term week has been pretty flat if truth be told. Asides from the highlight, being the party we went to on Monday, everything else has been a tad flat. The weather has been rubbish.  Its rained on and off for most of this week.  The one good thing is that buddy has been waking at 10 am. He hasn't been going to bed very late either 7.30-8pm.  Sweet justice I think. 

My husband has been ill again. This is about the 3rd episode this year of flu like symptoms. He's been feeling ropey since Tuesday and wasn't overly impressed yesterday when I diagnosed him with shingles. I said "me saying you've got shingles isn't going to preempt it." Still not impressed. So he trots down from the bedroom to feed, watch telly and return. He won't go to the doctors as he is a Northerner or something else? We are meant to be at a party tomorrow (another 50th) but I really am not in the mood and I can't see that the hubster will be up to it.

Google is a wonderful tool don't you think? I love to diagnose the ailments in this house. I've had a small lump on the back of my head for a while now but haven't been at all concerned - okay fleetingly thought maybe its a brain tumour but I googled it and it said there was nothing to worry about.

I haven't felt that great (maybe it is a tumour!) which means I haven't done any exercise for a week. That's a long time for me and I feel lumpy and lethargic. Mental note to self when I feel toned, energetic and fit I need to acknowledge it more. I see a lot of tweets and blogging about diets from women - I've come to the conclusion that we have an excuse for everything, rarely just get on with it and, in general, are pretty shit dieters.

The kids have been fairly okay asides from my 8 year old son who acts like a moody teenager at times. I am running out of empty threats for that one. We had a lovely day out together just me and him last Saturday for his 2nd chess tournament. He came a respectable joint 3rd out of 50 children.  He won 4 of his 5 matches and lost 1. Chess is brutal really there is only one winner and no real prizes for coming 2nd or 3rd.  Its Supremo or nothing.

There is another tournament but its on Father's day, a good hour away and I'm not sure he deserves it.  Although he did say yesterday his "I don't care" attitude may be for attention.  Its true, buddy demands a lot of my time so I need to try and spend a bit more individual time with him and my daughter.Today has been far better - least he doesn't have temper tantrums. He holds a grudge so he does.  Spreading myself thinly as well as inappropriate footwear for this weather is my speciality at the moment.

Yesterday I took the kids to the library and bought them new pens - decent ones that last which has kept them very well entertained. Back to the 1970's in this house.  The x-box has been fairly redundant.  I also did get a few ailments checked out at the doctors. From phoning up I was seen within the hour. I love the NHS so I do.  You'll be pleased to know the lump isn't anything to worry about. Told you.  I have a rash on my neck from exercise and my necklace. That is all.

Today we went to our local Sure Start centre and had an indoors picnic, decorated a cake, made crowns, spent time in the ball pit and managed to escape prior to the singing.  A few mums from school were there. There is one in particular who acts slightly older than her only 6 year old child. A weird one. I often wonder why certain types of mums actually bother teaching their precious ones  manners and the like when they clearly have none themselves. Just cut out the middle man and don't bother.

I don't have a lot of time for pathetic grown women in their late thirties early forties. By this juncture in your life you should be acting adult like. You can blame your parents up to the age of 25 - that's my mantra (generous I feel) - after that you need to grow a pair.

I spend a bit of time with one of the mums who also has 3 kids. Nothing in your face just mutual adult "what you doing?" "nothing" "great, come over for coffee".  It appears other mum's nose has been put out of joint. It was her friend first, I'm new on the scene - get off the patch.  She can barely contain her visible disappointment when she sees my presence.

Anyway, I am a friendly person (my blog my be a tad aggressive but in the flesh I'm nice honest guv!) and have saved a space on the floor for them all together with my picnic blanket. The rude mum just blanks me! I mean everyone else says hello etc and I get blanked.  She's avoiding all eye contact. Eventually she does acknowledge our presence by talking to my daughter. She got off lightly really as I was in no mood for it and was one step away from saying "HELLO, ANY PARTICULAR REASON YOU'RE IGNORING ME?" See what I have to contend with.

On a positive note I have bet on Greece winning the Euros based purely on the fact they need cheering up. If a miracle happens then I'll win £2,000 and I won't feel flat at all.

Tomorrow is another day and I intend to work out.

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Republican tendencies or Jubilee Jubilation?

That's me on the left with my straw boater hat!
What do you think? I'll let you decide as I can't.

So the bunting is out, the union flags are a flapping and the nation appears to be in a joyous jubilation mood.  There has been many a street party, "proud to be British" "love the Queen" type comments doing the rounds on facebook and twitter. Not to mention various home made cupcakes all with a Jubilee theme. The children's school had a whole day of celebrations on Friday. They didn't dress up but had a picnic on the field, games (including wellie boot throwing) and face painting to name but a few.

The finale was the children singing a London Medley which was very sweet. The PTA capitalised on the occasion by having a very manic but successful cake sale. My children had a great time and came home with their home made crowns and flags. To my husbands horror, our daughter started doing a rendition of God Save the Queen after tea.

As a family we went to a fabulous party yesterday thrown by our friends - right royalists and Beatle lovers so they are. The food on display was amazing. Everyone brought along something scrummy. I was going to put my own pics on but some other bloggers at the party have done a far superior job of it. Check out their pictures - Fashion Detective (you might want to vote for Jo in the Mad Blogs if only for the fact she doesn't have mummy in the title) and this gorgeous photography blog. My '99 flake cupcakes got a look in too. I thank you.

I am patriotic. I like this country. I think the union flag it is an outstanding design recognised the world over. I would go so far as to say it is iconic.  You'd pay good money to come up with an image like that for a brand.

I am not, however, a Royalist.  I probably was at some point. My nan was born and bred in Windsor and my great grandfather was a chef at Windsor castle.  My nan had various royal memorabilia and I was bequeathed her Kings and Queens book collection when she passed. There is a picture of me with my sisters in 1977 merrily waving the union flag and I vaguely remember a street party and fancy dress competition.  The same thing happened in 1981 for Charles and Diana's wedding.  I loved watching all the pomp, ceremony and wedding dresses. I also watched William and Kate's wedding from start to finish "just to see the dress" whilst the husband contemplated taking his own life. 

I let my daughter decorate this - it killed me!
Some may say its my husbands staunch Republican views that have made me less than pro royal but I would beg to differ. I remember sitting on the train in 1997, on my way to work, flicking through the newspaper and seeing Princess Diana yet again papped in the paper. I was so sick of it.  I didn't wish the fate that was bestowed upon her but I had no fascination whatsoever.

You can't really have a discussion in our so called 'democratic' society about the possibility of a republic. Any coverage of this in the papers is derided.

The British love the monarchy so says the Daily Mail and everyone else. End of. Its not open for discussion.

There is no need for a discussion that these people believe they have a divine right to rule, their ancestors stole land and brutalised other countries so they could live in big castles.  In an age of austerity we are happily waving flags at a woman and her family who have more than anyone could ever need. The Crown Jewell's alone are worth billions. Our Queen has the worlds biggest diamonds in her collection which were looted from Africa in the name of Empire. We like to take things you see. That kind of wealth could do so much good in the world.  There are people starving and we still have Queens? Surely god wouldn't approve would he? Would he approve that 5% of this country's population own 95% of the land rights? Questions to be answered me thinks.

Queen Victoria was quite happy whilst her people - we are still the queen's 'subjects' how thoroughly modern - were starving. There was mass poverty in this country during her reign. The French didn't take kindly to this carry on in their country. Us Brits didn't mind and still don't.

Most say "oh its good for tourism" "its good for the economy". What that economy that owes trillions and is in a double dip recession. How's that working out for us.  I mean she doesn't let the tourists come in for a cuppa when they're over. I'm pretty sure people would still show up to London for our sights alone. They do realise they are unlikely to come across the Queen on their travels. Besides if you stopped paying the millions, sold a few trinkets this would far outweigh any tourist income.

Last night I watched some of the Jubilee concert and had to have a bit of a chuckle. There was the leftie that was - Annie Lennox giving it some not to mention Sir Paul McCartney. The same Sir Paul who handed back his MBE in the sixties when he had a social conscience. What would John make of it all I wondered. Then you had Stevie Wonder changing his lyrics for our warrior Queen - Boadicea she ain't. Here was a black man singing to someone who's ancestors made his ancestors slaves. Maybe Grace Jones sang 'Slave to the Rhythym' for another reason other than to have a hula hoop going around her waist for the duration of the song.

The concert was hailed as a success. The Queen was clapped and cheered at doing such a wonderful 'job' of attending functions and wearing frocks for 60 years.  When it was over the spectators retreated back to their humble homes feeling grateful that they had been able to witness such an event.

But bygones should be bygones. Let us not delve too deep shall we. That would be just too much because if you really think about it - the notion of a monarchy and what it stands for is a nonsense. I don't think you can argue with that. Its on a par with today's celebrities but these are bona fida celebrities because its historic. 

So forget what I've just said. Its all good fun, it brings us all together, we like looking at the pretty frocks and we don't mind this family having everything when millions don't. And aren't I just the hypocrite making Royal chocolate covered cakes, dressing up in union inspired numbers and attending Jubilee celebrations.

So am I a Republican, a spoil sport or a secret Royalist in disguise? I'll let you decide because I surely can't! 

Monday, 4 June 2012

Monday Weigh In

So sorry its late and very short. I haven't forgotten you dear blog and my lovely followers and readers. I had a very busy week last week what with Jubilee this and that goings on at school. I will up date you all properly tomorrow when I have more time and am not a bit tipsy on Pimms. I just didn't want to miss my regular Monday weigh in slot.

Without further ado - 2lb down.  Pleased with that.  Probably have undone it all today mind with all the Jubilee fabulous food and drink on offer. I will post pictures tomorrow.

Until tomorrow.....Mwah love you all!