Wednesday, 30 May 2012

The Aldi Virgin


Yesterday was the weekly shop, the highlight of such is generally watching one of these - The Aldi Virgin.  Anyone who knows me well knows how I love the Aldi so I do.  And its not because I'm tight. For example, I'm not first out the taxi and last at the bar. You know who you are. I'm not remotely like the mums I talk of in this post. In brief the total piss takers that never offer to drive their car, step up to the cafe counter first and never offer to do you and the kids lunch. They're the same ones that, after extensive negotiations, the once a year night out has been agreed sit there scrutinising the bill. They talk of paying separately and who had what. I flit between losing the will to live and imagining throttling them on nights like these. I can't be doing with tight arses or skin flints whatever you want to call them - people who are tight at other people's expense.

In fact I like to think my friends will testify that I am quite the opposite. I like to buy lunch, pick people up and pay for coffee and wave my hand and say "don't worry about it."  I also have a motto - never ever leave behind items you fancy in a shop. You know you'll regret it and I always say "well I couldn't leave it there".  I have a friend that keeps showing me pictures of things she's seen and tried on in shops that look fantastic and I wail "why didn't you bring it home?!" I'm working on it don't worry. Another friend who spends a lot of time returning stuff but also retaining it says "well if you need it you need it". I like that motto. So we've established I'm not tight.

But Aldi is different. In short you pay less than half the amount for your weekly shop than you would if you went to either Tesco or Sainsburys. Now in my book less money spent on items that are going to come out the other end is a good thing. Not only that it means I can spend my money on other things (see above).  I am in, out and home within the hour. Sometimes it would take me an hour just to order my weekly shop on line.

So to the Aldi Virgin.  Its taken them a long time to do a trolley shop in The Aldi. This is because although they know its cheap they also think its full of poor people. Its not. The car park has mercs and all sorts. Its full of smart people. Only recently have Aldi stocked baskets.  They only stock a limited amount of items so you will need to get the other odds and sods at Sainsbury's i.e brand deodorants and toiletries etc but not much.  You are not paying for the service. But then are you at the other stores? They don't pack it for you do they.  That's why its cheap there are no frills in Aldi but the food is the same.  People say there's always weird shit in amongst the food but I always manage to buy that too - giant chalks, cake stands etc. I just love The Aldi! 

The checkout is at breakneck speed. You just have to fling it all in the trolley and go to the packing area to finish. I like to see if I can beat who ever is on the checkout. I call this the Aldi Stand Off. They're fast but so am I. The best part is when you wait for them - they hate that.

I spot the Aldi Virgin prior to loading the conveyor belt.

Its all alien to her but she's in good spirits marvelling at her bounty in her over flowing trolley even remarking to her 4 year old "I don't think we could possibly get anymore in our trolley!" in her Waitrose at Christmas voice.

Later on she's behind me and is casually putting her items on the conveyor belt. I'm thinking not casual luv not casual - speed it up.  But she's a good mum engaging with her child whilst shopping "what comes after 4, 5, 6" congratulating the child on handing her items "wow well done, what a super star!" - this generation will certainly come to expect a round of applause when they do the most mundane simple items don't you think?  Just say "thank you" - they don't need a fanfare and they don't need loser prizes at parties. I digress.
She has no idea bless her. She thinks she has got time. She hasn't. Whilst I'm packing away my stash I am watching her out of the corner of my eye. Nine flimsy plastic bags have been purchased and she tries to pack whilst the items are being flung in her trolley. The child is wandering off and she attempts to chat to him but now the pressure is mounting - she ditches the bags and is now in a semi-controlled flustered state. She laughs nervously and says "oh its very quick" "oh I'm holding everyone up". The queue is silent all thinking the same thing - Aldi Virgin.  They give her no words of comfort or explain the process.  Eventually she pushes her trolley to the packing area - still in a state of bewilderment.  She doesn't quite know what has just happened to her.

It dawns on her that she has purchased inappropriate bags. I have none spare and give her an Aldi Pro smile and say "you don't come here for the experience" - she laughs. Just for good measure I add  "you could go to Sainsburys and pay double". She laughs and agrees and now the shock and awe is fading and she feels triumphant with her bounty which came to under £100.00. She's done it - she's no longer the Aldi Virgin!


12 comments:

  1. You write very well, Natasha. Great post

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  2. Well thank you Carole. Tweaked it this morning I tend to use the same word sometimes - I'm getting there x

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  3. Who doesn't love Aldi? I remember my Aldi Virgin trip. I'd been forewarned about the breakneck speed, but still held everyone up. Really embarrassing.

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    1. But I bet you are now an Aldi Pro - we've all been there! x

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  4. We don't have an Aldi. But I popped my Lidl cherry thus week when a branch opened here! Bargains galore!

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  5. oh lucky you get stuck in!!

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  6. We have an Aldi not far from our house and it's fab. I don't do my main shopping there every week but do go to stock up on bubble bash, washing powder, kitchen roll and other generic stuff. It's great value for money. You would hate to be behind me in the queue though ... I'm slower than a snail and no amount of sighing gets me to move any quicker :-)

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  7. I am so pleased you have an Aldi nearby!! I'm sure you will progress to main shop eventually. I started out like that buying my fruit, nappies etc then I thought I might as well go teh majority here. Would love to see you in an Aldi queue! x

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  8. Hilarious. We were all Aldi Virgins at one time. Nice to have another aboard, to give the others a quiet nudge on giving us value for money.

    I love how fast they are, and generally, their staff are real multi-taskers. Quick to hop onto a til if there is a queue. Good on 'em.


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    1. Hi Dan thanks for your comment- you are preaching to the converted! I love the Aldi too! x

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