Wednesday, 25 April 2012


Recently I keep experiencing these types whilst going about my day to day business.  Never heard of one before?  Well that would figure as I've just made it up. Take yesterday for example, I was at the garage picking up our papers when an old boy (probably nearing the end of his good innings) opened the door for me.  I said, in what I thought was a loud voice, "Thank you". This may come as no surprise to you all but I do have a loud voice. My friend always says to me, when we're chatting on the phone, "turn it down for goodness sake, you're shouting".  I just get a bit excitable when talking. I don't get out much what can I say. So you can imagine then, that I don't do quiet, hushed or whispered tones.  My voice can boom given half the chance especially if alcohol has featured.  My voice is at its finest hour when I've had a few and I've found something rather amusing. I repeat that something louder and louder and louder.

So as I passed, the old boy says all huffy and puffy, "Thank you!" as in - I am demonstrating to you young lady that it is customary to say thank you when someone opens the door.  I immediately shouted back so he could hear good and proper "I did say thank you" but he was on his way.  I bit my tongue and didn't finish the sentence with "cocksucker" which I'm sure he would have heard.

I was so annoyed at this, my inner Larry David kicked in, I was so tempted to bang on his car window and tell him to - not wind it down as that would make me sound very old - open the window and lets have a chat about this.

He drove off, I suspect, muttering about the state of the country and I left thinking how loud do I have to shout "thank you" these days?!

I had another incident of this but the "thank you" was in dispute. I was in the bank with all my offspring (3 at the last count) and the youngest was in the buggy.  The bank doors are designed so that a robber will have to wait to exit. By that I mean the first door has to be shut before the second opens. So I have one leg opening the door and have pushed buggy and gestured the other 2 to stay in the holding bay area.  The woman is outside in the street and I open the second door with my bum, 2 children go out and I push the buggy out. The woman does the "thank you" Huffer because she's waited for me to exit the building.  Now I had already made a decision not to say thank you as she watched me struggle with 3 children, a buggy, a locking door system and an arse hold open door manoeuvre! Why should I say thank you for not helping and waiting your turn which is expected of you?  If the roles had been reversed I wouldn't expect a thank you. On this occasion she was in earshot and I said "what's the problem, you've just watched me struggle to get out and I'm meant to say thank you"? Wasn't so quick to be vocal now was she.

The thing is the Thank You Huffer doesn't expect a retaliation of any sort. They really believe that they can huff and get away with it.  Well not if they do it to me!  I will happily stop even swerve my car in front of someone to chat about the merits of their huffiness (I don't do this as I have children but probably would if I was single and didn't have a family that I would leave behind).  And half the time the huffer has already decided they are going to say this as they anticipate that the person won't say thank you. In fact, I'm pretty sure the Thank you Huffer actually enjoys it and welcomes the opportunity to do this.  They probably just hold doors open purely for Huffer fodder - a bit like entrapment.

So next time you're out beware of the Thank you Huffer and make sure you give a huff back!


  1. Life's too short to worry about it - I just laugh and move on. Another case of mellowing with age I think

    1. I'm trying Carole, really trying...... xx

  2. This made me laugh. I DO love you!! I don't reckon there's much chance of you mellowing with age though eh? Wouldn't have you any other way. x

  3. Right back at ya! No there's probably little hope on that front if something gets my goat it gets it good and proper! xx