Friday, 2 March 2012

Whinging Women

When did women get so bloody whingey about anything and everything? At what point did we all become a bunch of moaning minnies? Can anyone recall a time when women actually enjoyed motherhood and didn't bleat on constantly about "getting my life back", "its tough", "I don't have time for myself" "I don't know who I am", "I need something else other than being a mother" and my most hated of all sayings "ME TIME"! 

Notice a common denominator in amongst that lot? Yes a lot of Me's and a lot of I's.  Women have become a selfish bunch of moaning minnies. Firstly if your life was so brilliant prior to having children I would have to beg the question why you had them in the first place.  It can be tough but so can going to the pit for hours on end or walking 7 miles to fetch water for your starving children. I know suffering is relative but really? Get a grip. Your ancestors raised large families through severe hardship where infant mortality was rife. You really are doing them a disservice.

No you don't get much time to yourself - accept it, get over it, move on.  Right you don't know who you are? You are a woman that chose to have kids that's who. As for me time, well, where do I start? Everything that is wrong with society summed up in those two little words. Its all about me. Like the person who has a basket of 20 items in the 'no more than 5 items' queue. They don't give a fuck they're holding everyone up - its all about their needs. The irony being they are probably a Daily Mail reader who regularly complains about the state of the country. 

It is just so in vogue to moan about the mechanics of having children that anyone who actually embraces it  (and there are many believe me) keep quiet as its not the done thing.  The problem is that everyone is so self-absorbed that the notion of giving yourself over to someone else and putting their needs before your own is a now a bizarre concept. To become selfless is nigh on impossible.  Its all too much effort - cue whinging and moaning.

I can't log on to baby website forums these days for that reason. The most popular ones are "Am I being unreasonable?" the answer is generally always a resounding YES! And "What's your opinion on?" cue lots of arguments and lengthy answers by feminist women - who give the green light to moaning about things because you need me time, you need something else and it is tough.  Anyone who disagrees is considered inferior.

Now you  have probably guessed by now that I am no feminist.  I don't have a problem with feminists and I respect their opinions.  Now in my teens I would have opened you up and rammed my socialist views down you throat. You'll be pleased to know I am now a grown up and I do not physically assault people.

I just don't happen to subscribe to what is perceived as the intellectual train of thought.  On the contrary I think the opposite so maybe I'm the one that's stupid not everyone else? Much like the election was won on the notion that everyone was scrounging benefits.  The working/middle classes then started pointing the finger at each other and voila enter a Tory knob running the country.

The same can be said of women.  The modern day woman has swallowed the propaganda pill for many years now.  Much like the people did in Hitler's Germany and look how that panned out.  If you say anything that makes women question why, for example, they are leaving babies in nurseries for 8 hours a day to go to work to pay for that very childcare - you are accused of attacking the sisterhood.  This is deemed perfectly acceptable.  Its good for the child don't you know. Don't make us feel guilty.  Its all about the mother not the child how stupid of me.  Its her needs, her wants, her desires all of the above.  But where did that spring from - oh yes, that propaganda again. I digress.

Women need to quit complaining.  Stop. Ask not what others can do for you but what you can do for others. Put others first. Grow up. If you had children in your 30's you had a whole lot of time prior to that for ME TIME.

I appreciate my thoughts are in the minority at the moment and I don't write this blog to offend people. Its just something I come across all too often and my readership has probably been cut by 50% in one post!

So what will become of the moaning mothers? Like all things that are currently in fashion it will soon become unfashionable and they will be consigned to the vintage pile.


  1. I get this look, a sort of frown, thrown at me when I answer 'I'm a full time mum' to the what do you do question. I add, 'And, I love every second of it' now because, I do and I'm not going to lament my old working life to make the questioner feel better. I get it, you got it spot on. I agree!

  2. Ok get the tag thingy now - kindof - check out loveallblogs people or click on the badge at the top of my page to find out what its all about. Fiona - thank you! they just piss me right off!! x

  3. On the one hand I want to offer my support and say I agree with you, but because I sometimes do need and want ME time I feel hypocritical.

    But I totally get the points you have made, and I am that lady - the one who had a baby in her late 30s.

    Yep had a whole hella me time before he came along.

    And when I occasionally get it now, I do so so that I can be a better Mum. And it works. Aaron runs and does a jig/dance when he can see that I am revitalised.

    I am with him 4 days a week as I only work 3 days a week

    Liska xxx

  4. Hi Liska

    I would by lying if I didn't say we all like to have a bit of space where you can eat something without interuption or pop of for a couple of hours of course that's natural. No one needs to joined at the hip to their children and it is good for them to see that you go away and come back! But when its a constant moaning about the phrases I spoke about that's where I think sort yourself out. Where everything and anything to do with child rearing is regarded as drudgery. Too much effort cue complaining.

    He sounds scrummy by the way!

  5. For one reason or another I didn't become a mother until I was almost 35 and, like Liska said, I had a whole load of me time before he arrived which I find that sometimes I crave because I was so used to it.

    Having said that, it was my choice to have a kid and I was under no illusion that all that most of my "me time" would go. I get around that by doing something half a day a week for me. It makes me happier, replenishes my patience and ultimately is better for my boy.

    I have been feeling a little low lately. It was only when I got thinking about it did I realise that I was so flipping fed up at listening to women moaning about their kids, their weight, their money eetc all the bloody time and I realised that I was doing it too. I have myself a pledge to stop it, pull my socks up and get on with what I wanted to do for 10 years until we were blessed with our little boy.

    Like you, I cannot read the Mums websites nor can I read the endless articles about women having it all. It pisses me off. I don't work but nor do I consider myself to be living a 1950's life (as some woul call it). It is a choice, and one that was made by my husband and I. No one else.

    Right, rant over. Have a good evening!

  6. Hello Natalie thank you for taking the time to comment. Here, here to the moaning - we are all guilty of it at times - but I really do count myself lucky and blessed. We do have a 1950's style household - dinner is on hte table at 5pm ready and waiting. I would expect the same if I was out to work - it works for us and there's no resentment, stress, guilt etc. And ultimately like you say its about chosing what's right for the good of your own family. So it really doesn't matter what I do or anyone else as long as you are happy then that's all that matters. Who gets to the end of their life and thinks "oh I should have worked more" not may I wager! Thanks again - come back soon! x

  7. A Dad's perspective. My children are now all teenagers - but there was a time when they were 8, 6 and 2. And from time to time I'd stay home to look after them. I considered a day at home looking after my kids to be (at least) 5 times harder than a day at work. The first time my wife went away for the weekend and left me with the kids, I spent Sunday afternoon gazing out of the lounge window willing her car to appear. There - confessed...

    1. Hi Mark thanks for commenting - I know we all need a day off at times and I'm sure you were looking forward to your wife coming home! At the time of writing this it seemed to be that women were just moaning all the time about having kids and quite frankly it bores me to tears. I just think get a grip and get on with it. I don't frequent mum sites anymore and I do think the tide is turning x