Sunday, 12 February 2012
February - "You break my heart"
For those old enough to remember - do you remember the scene in St Elmo's Fire (1985) where Demi Moore says to Rob Lowe "you break my heart" well that's how I'm beginning to feel about February. Okay maybe not so dramatic but we're only 12 days in and you're already a big disappointment.
I used to think February was a good month. I know its normally the coldest month but when you enter February you've left January so it gets its first 'check' right there. Then there's the fact its quite blase about how many days its going to have. It decides, not us, we have to guess. Its the month of rebels. It doesn't follow the crowd.
Then if you're really desperate you can propose marriage if the person you've been with for many years still hasn't asked you (I'm guessing they have no intention but if you want to humiliate yourself go ahead). February says so. February is one hard nut bastard month.
Then there's Valentine's it makes you buy a card because it can even if you're happily married. My husband struggles with the concept of having to get a Valentines card when we're married "isn't it meant to be for people who want to start courting (yes he really does use that word)". Yes it is. Get me a card. He always does and with some flowers but he does have a valid point. It is the most unromantic day of the year and he does enough during the course of the year to demonstrate his feelings for me.
Its my daughter's birthday at the end of February - so there is still a glimmer of hope that it might come up trumps for me.
So why the big grudge against February? Well my best friend was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and this week she was told what grade it is. Remember I said 1 was the best 3 was the worse. Well February dished up number 3. The snow, whilst we have only have a splattering, has now made any car journeys a bit of a lottery unless the hubster uses his truck to jump start my battery.
Little Buddy had been sleeping fairly well - and had gone about 3 weeks sleeping through the night. He's had a cold, teething and now that's all a distant memory. Last night was 11.30, 1.30 and 4.00 am but he did wake up then at 9.30am so I did get some sleep in amongst that lot.
I like routine. I am a creature of habit. I have to do lists and specific days I do things on. I can cope with deviations but I would rather not thank you.
And this weekend my husbands back gave way again. Last year he had to go to hospital with a prolapsed disc. A long story for another day. I have a few stories pending I will get around to them at some point. He was off work for 3 weeks and being self-employed this isn't a good thing. Anyway, he has been in bed since Saturday and I'm hoping he will get better. Enter my headache and no desire to do any exercise at all and to eat stuff I shouldn't.
The two things that are the biggest sabotage to my diet are, at the very top of my list, 1) buddy and very little sleep 2) anxious, stress, worrying eating. Anything else I can deal with i.e offerings of cake cue "no thank you", toddler groups and plates of biscuits "no thank you". Temptation is not the deal here. I have no expectations for tomorrow's weigh in - its been a shit week and I'm hoping February will start dishing up some good times.