This is the equivalent of me entering a builders merchant. The two should never meet in any circumstances. Find the exit and leave immediately. I'd popped (I say popped but lets face it I haven't been able to 'pop' anywhere for approx 7 years) to the localish cake decorating shop with my daughter. She was allowed to come with me on the strict instructions she was to behave herself in this tiny shop crammed with all manner of cake decorating items.
These shops can be quite overwhelming when you first start out in the mysterious world of cake decorating. There are sprays, glitters, boarders, ribbons, plungers, cutters, embossers, levels, smoothers, turn tables, spray guns ... it goes on and on. The women behind the counters are usually of a middle aged and upwards variety and can sniff an amateur a mile off. Even if you know what you're talking about they still manage to make you question your approach. Stand your ground. Do not buckle under pressure. Your cake will be just fine. I have come to the conclusion that the money is in selling the cake supplies not the actual cake selling. This particular shop is always busy.
Anyway, the hold up was the token man in the shop. You see you don't get many men folk in cake shops and that's how I like it. In the same way you don't get many women folk in builders merchants. I can say this as I've never proclaimed to be a feminist before the men start shouting "oh but you women want to be equal" - well this women doesn't. That's a post for another day - its Saturday after all so lets keep it light and fluffy.
He was making a Gruffalo cake he proclaimed loudly to us all. He was enjoying his novelty status and inexperience in cake matters. I could feel the inaudible arrhhh from the queue of ladies behind me - bless him. The old dears behind the counter were equally impressed and proceeded to treat him like a child gently guiding him through the cake planning process.
Now as you can probably guess I didn't think arrhhh bless him. I thought you dick, grow a pair. Well maybe that's a bit harsh even by my standards. Okay it was quite nice he wanted to make a cake for his son - I'll give him that. I like my men to be men and baking a cake doesn't do it for me. And if the ladies had initially thought what a lovely metro sexual man this was that quickly changed - cue sighs as he held up the queue for about 20 minutes. He was hiring out 3 massive tins for this Gruffulo cake and purchasing very little brown Regalice to cover it. "I'm going to roll it out thinly". Everyone was thinking the same thing - there's thin and there's no way that cake is getting covered you dick!
Make your way to the exit and leave immediately!