Thursday, 26 January 2012

You're going there anyway

Is what I used to say to my sister when she was going out in her car having passed her driving test.  This is many moons ago - my sister is 40  - so we're talking 23 years ago (sorry luv!).  She used to charge me 50p for all car journeys even if she was passing that way.  I used to think this was very tight fisted of her. 

She also cut me in on her paper round too. I would do half the round with her and put in the leaflets but I only got a small amount (that 50p again) whilst she took home the lion's share of the total £3 odd.

She's always been very good with money - we used to all have post office accounts and my money would go in, go out, go in but mostly it would go out.  My sister (she is a twin the other one is piss poor with money) would sit counting her little money piles and probably sat stroking her post office account book when we were all asleep in the dead of night, however, I have no concrete evidence to back this up.

So having relayed my car journey bug bear "she was going there anyway!" my brother-in-law pipes up "well you could say that about anything". Of course, he's right. I could turn up at Gatwick tomorrow bags packed and say  to the BA flight attendant destined for Las Vegas "let us on mate - no charge, there's empty seats and you are going there anyway"!

I mean you could apply this to all modes of transport  - buses, trains, taxis, ferries - you don't have to restrict yourself to flights.

Maybe my sister was right to expect a payment of some kind as a deterrent for any abuse of the system.  I say this because I know quite a few people who have that mentality.  One friend I know is constantly ferrying around another mum as she is going to these places anyway.  However, the mum in question never once offers to drive, or do anything to show her gratitude.  It has become expected and because my friend is going there anyway she doesn't feel comfortable to say anything. Its just a festering resentment which I'm sure in time will mean the one taking the piss will be cut loose.

She doesn't expect payment or anything like that but surely the mum in question could offer to do the driving for once instead of being driven around like some lady of the manor?  It is a friendship but a friendship on one persons selfish terms.

I also know some mum's who never offer to do the driving to the playgroup, the farm or offer to do coffee or lunches.  In my naivety I used to think they weren't aware of this fact but of course they are fully aware of their cost cutting ways. They purposely take advantage of other peoples generosity. They think I won't have to use my petrol or wear and tear on my car. Now I don't have a problem with people who are tight fisted, that is their prerogative, but don't be tight fisted at my expense.

I'm now old and wise enough to spot these types of mum a mile off . My "you're going there anywhere" radar is well and truly switched on.  I like friendships to be mutually beneficial - call me old fashioned but they are far the best and the most fulfilling and I have no problem with ferrying those friends around all day long as after all, "I am going there anyway"!

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