.....was uttered (not about my house - heavens above!) by a friend of mine once and it always makes me chuckle. We were having a cup of tea with another friend at her house. Both my friends are mother's in their mid forties so a little older than me. My friend was telling the story of another mother that came to her house and proclaimed "oh my god, your house is spotless" - her house isn't spotless. It is just clean and tidy. My friend said "I thought to myself my house isn't spotless yours is just a shit hole luv"! The line was delivered in perfect comedy timing with a South London accent.
Some random comments made in conversation just stick in my mind and this is one of them.
I have to say some mums do get on my nerves at times. A lot are into man bashing (in particular the man they chose to marry and have children with) moaning about what the other half does or doesn't do - what do you do? Quit your moaning. If I worked full time then I would want my dinner on the table when I got home from a hard days work and I'd also want the house to be in order -not spotless but certainly not like a bomb's hit it or a "shit hole".
When I say its cleaning day today (the bigger clean of the week - its always on going i.e hoovering, floors washing, toilets, ironing etc) on a Monday their faces are a picture - "oh I don't clean" "what's that?!" cue laughter.
The talk progresses to specifics - "the only things I iron are school uniform" "Oh, I don't iron the clothes are self ironing" or some other thing that clothes miraculously do these days. Yes by all accounts they come out of the washing machine without a crease and therefore I am actually wasting my time.
Now for a really big wide mouthed reaction I just need to casually mention that I iron our bedsheets. No I'm not being smug I just think a lot of people are lazy and in particular women. They can't be arsed. I like nice uncreased sheets what can I say! I'm talking from a stay at home mum point of view so obviously have more time to do these things but there are some who still can't be arsed even if they are at home all day. I appreciate that if you work full-time or even part-time (which is just as stressful) then housework is going to be at the bottom of your list. But it still needs to be done and hopefully fairly equally if that's the case.
I cleaned the windows the other day and that was met with gasps of shock and horror in equal measure. What is this nonsense you speak of. I quickly muttered, so as not to lose any street cred with the non-cleaning, non-ironing, non-cooking, non-window washing brigade that it hadn't been done in probably a year (although the one that the little fella touches gets done once a week I hate toddler paw prints on my doors). Phew looks of relief all round.
Now where is that oven cleaner......