Saturday, 31 December 2011

The Biggest Loser

Well I have just tried this game out on the X-box Kinect.   I chose Bob as my trainer as he is 'fit' and not just in the true sense of the word. I know he is of a different persuasion but still - I might try Gillian out next time.  So your body gets scanned and its so life like it is depressing.  I am a wobbly weeble at the bottom right of the screen and I turn green when I'm following Bob correctly and red when not.  I would suggest, if you do buy his game, not to have the kids watching whilst rolling about laughing at your "big bum". It follows your actions perfectly. However, it really is one for the evening given that the little fella isn't sleeping much in the day - this is a bit of a draw back as I do like to complete my exercise in the day.

I only did 30 mins at moderate level and it did give me a little sweat and it was hard in places. The star jumps were horrible as were the lunges. Its proper working out old school my friends. I choose the 12 week fat burning programme and it says I will be at my goal weight by then.  The calorie count was a bit disappointing 144 for 30 mins - that's no good.  I will continue to do the Wii dance/Zumba alongside this programme and possibly change it to challenging once I get used to the screens etc.

I do find the X-box Kinect to be so frustrating with the waving of the hand to get to the setting you want. Think of the Wii when you first buy it and how frustrating it was to get the finger to point to what you wanted  - well times that by 100 and you get the idea of the X-box Kinect - it takes too long and you can stand there for about 5 mins at times just to get to something you want to do. Maybe when we all get used to it it will become easier. I also gave Dance Central a go and was equally unimpressed however the negotiation of the menu is much easier - more of a swiping action. The music was pretty naff too. 

I am still a Wii devotee I'm afraid but maybe that will change over the coming weeks.

Wednesday, 28 December 2011

Inappropriate Present Reaction Syndrome

Well that's what I have by all accounts (I have made up the syndrome but think its quite a good one what do you think?).  My reaction is non-plused, no smile before swiftly moving onto the next present! Well I never.  I always say that if a person perceives you in a certain way that is the way you are seen by others.

Irrespective of whether you think you are like that or not.  Like the classic "well I didn't mean it to come out like that".  If the person on the receiving end interprets it in a different manner, then, that is how you have come across. Fact.  Uncomfortable, unfortunate but true.  So I have to accept if that's the perception then that is the truth if I am to abide by my own rule making.

Now as anyone who knows me well and has been reading this blog will be fully aware I will have a defence for this perception.  This was pointed out to me by my sister (they are twins and were around last night together with my brother-in-law for more food eating) unintentionally - or was it?!  She said she was surprised my other sister's present got a reaction.  On further enquiry she said I was "known" for not showing much emotion when opening presents and moving swiftly onto the next one.  Well there is an element of truth to this I must admit.  But I did think I smiled, said thank you and then moved swiftly on.  I don't do jazz hands or get all excited when opening presents. I am 38 not 8 and I never really feel the need to prolong the "oh wow thanks that's really kind of you".  I mean a present is a present.  Its nice - thank you - onto the next one!  Equally I wouldn't expect a pro-longed reaction to any present I have given and don't need to be watching the person open it or get them to describe the moment they opened my wonderful gift.

My sisters do have Present Overload Syndrome (made that one up too) though!  They spend hours opening gifts they have purchased for each other and it can go on for hours, one at a time, so everyone can watch the expression on the person opening the present.  I have to say I do find this a tad tedious especially if the present is not from you! I am also not interested in asking people what they got and telling them what I got - I find it a bit too personal and don't want to sound like I'm showboating or being show offie.  I got a gorgeous diamond eternity ring by the way but I didn't put it on facebook and won't be showing it off unless I'm specifically asked. I just feels a bit tacky to do so.

However, I am genuinely grateful for any present received so I will make more of an effort to express that in future.  I do love cards, more so than presents, especially from the kids and from the hubster and which I always keep.  I like seeing them hit the doormat all colourful and inviting, recognising the handwriting and the little effort that has gone into choosing one and posting it. 

So next year if you see my clapping my hands like the gay bloke out of Will and Grace you will now that I'm trying to overcome my Inappropriate Present Reaction Syndrome.



Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Three months to get it off..

...the Xmas weight that is. My blog titles are beginning to resemble a cross between Kenneth Williams and Dick Emery these days with the double entendres and all.  That was the predictable prediction in the paper today. Yes, its going to take you three months to get the Xmas weight off.  Really?  I don't think so somehow.  By all accounts the food we consume on Xmas day alone would give you enough food to keep you going for a week if you didn't eat another morsel.  I suspect this article, along with all the others -  the Little Black Dress diet (see my previous post), any other diet you can think of and the celebrities before and after pictures for this year are dug out to fill the papers during the festive season.

We should also be due the avalanche of Weigh Watchers and the like on the telly any minute now.  And did you know you could get a sofa interest free for 3 years? It had escaped my notice.

Welcome to the short lived diet season and resolutions. I don't do resolutions - I used to when I was about 15 but as a fully fledged grown woman I tend to address the To Do List during the course of the year.

Well I've been on the wagon since October have fallen off over the last week or so - not spectacularly but enough to get muddy (or should I say down and dirty if this is Dick Emery/Kenneth Williams blog post).

So tomorrow I'm back on the wagon although I have a few more bumpy roads to negotiate.  We are being entertained Thursday and Friday and then there's New Year's Eve but that's a cosy night in for us so shouldn't be too hard negotiate. 

Tomorrow I'm going to complete some dancing on the X-box Kinect (a xmas presents for me the kids) - I have the biggest loser as well which I will start once the kids go back to school.  Let's hope my gain and any back dated gain that may be due next week will come off and it won't take a ridiculous 3 months to shift. And I can stick two fingers up at the hacks who tell me otherwise.

Monday, 26 December 2011

Boxing Day are you frigging mad Weigh In

Yes I am and this morning I weighed in - I did try and post this using my phone but I'm a bit of a Luddite and was unsuccessful. Anyhow 3lb GAIN - dah dah dah.  And I feel it I can tell you.  My boobs and tummy feel massively bigger and I feel bloated.  I have my sisters around tomorrow evening so soup for lunch. I'm glad I weighed in better to face it and its certainly made me think about that bit of Xmas pudding before I eat it!

Saturday, 24 December 2011

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

to all my merry band of followers you know who you are as I certainly don't! I probably won't be blogging for a couple of days but certainly will next week to give you the low down show down. There is, of course, my weigh in on Boxing Day - are you kidding me?  Until then have a great one people! Natasha xx

Friday, 23 December 2011

Beware of The Xmas Bragger

They will lead you into a false sense of eating security.  Much like the size 10 friend who speaks of all the naughty things they have consumed and how they have "stuffed themselves silly", "haven't been good" etc etc but still remain, surprisingly enough, the same weight. The Xmas Bragger who speaks of all things consumed leading up to and after Xmas, can unwittingly throw you not just off the dieting course, but hurtle you spectacularly off and over the cliff completely.

There are two more sleeps as more mums than children will tell you till the big day.  There is already Facebook talk of Quality Street tins being opened - 3 consumed already?!, scrummy meals out, drinks consumed, hangovers and on and on it will go until the predictable comments of "am sooo stuffed" "can't eat another thing" "eaten so much crap" will be surfacing before 9pm on Xmas day.  The trick is (easier said than done) is not to think this is the green light for my big bad arsed self!  Most of these people are not overweight in the first place and I will do well to remember that.  They are of a normal weight and if they want to consume a whole tin of Quality Street then that is their prerogative.  However, it is more likely that given they are of sound weight that their stomach wouldn't be able to take such abuse and the tin was probably shared amongst several others.  You never get the true picture - these people's ideas of pigging out are very different to my own previous pigging out during the festive season.

So whilst pigging out during the festive season, egged on by the Facebook Status's (lets face it there's not going to be too many which say am desperately trying not to over indulge up to Xmas day), remember The Xmas Bragger will come back from the break no bigger than when they starter it.

A 1970's tin of Quality Street


Tuesday, 20 December 2011

Time to talk about my Fanny



Well it wouldn't be Xmas without Fanny Cradock would it? I loved her bossy, school mistress manner with her mad eyebrows and drag queen look. Her poor assistant always looked terrified and scurried around doing as she was told before she got beaten with a sharp stick.

I had to share this 1975 clip of her making a disgusting mincemeat omelet. I mean, really, it wouldn't have been hard to be slim in the 70's if you were eating A la Fanny would it?

The BBC did a really good drama on her life story where her ultimate downfall was when she was rude to a housewife who was holding a dinner party. It was filmed in a cafe and the poor woman was telling Fanny what she planned to cook. Fanny's reaction was typical and she pulled an expression of disgust before exclaiming "good god no woman" or something along those lines. I'm sure it would be on youtube somewhere. She was no longer the 1970's housewife's favourite after that.

I particularly like her parting words of admiring the Housewife's of Britain trying to give their families a decent Xmas in the most appalling times. Little did she know that 2011 would be on a par with 1975.

Enjoy!

Monday, 19 December 2011

Weigh In

1lb down - I'll take that as was out 2 nights on the trot need to do some work this week prior to Xmas day lunch and beyond.

Sunday, 18 December 2011

In the style of Michael Douglas...

..Father Christmas was paid a visit.  There was nearly a 2 hour wait where I lost the will to live. I acted out an imaginary scene in my head similar to that of the film Falling Down (starring Michael Douglas where he loses the plot).  I barged my way up the line (kids in tow) flinging all other children and adults aside, emptied the sacks marked boys 7-8 girls 5-6, grabbed the presents and said to the big fella "get a fucking move on you god damm mother fucker"! How long does it take to say what's your name, age and what do you want for Xmas?  On exiting I pulled out my sawn-off shotgun and blasted the 2 reindeer's, calmly walked out of the hotel and drove off in the Kia Sedona.



Of course this did not happen but this is a lesson to anyone that doesn't go somewhere that is a) quiet like a garden centre or 2) pre-book a slot.  In fairness the kids had a good time.  We took our ticket and were told it would be 1 hour (LIARS!) during this "hour" they were able to decorate a biscuit, a snowflake, read a book, have a dance on the disco, write a letter and post it to Santa or wait in a massive queue for face painting. They had juice out of a glass with straw, crisps and a run around in the hotel grounds. There were two reindeer that they were able to feed and a sleigh to sit in.  Father Christmas was pretty realistic (he had a German or Irish accent couldn't quite figure him out) the presents were decent and it cost £10 per child. Even the little fella was fairly okay but waited in the car during the final queueing process and we could take our own photos and not be right royally ripped off by the hotel's photography.  Plus it was 2 min drvie from our house.

Next year I feel the garden centre will make a come back. 

I had a good time on Friday and Saturday when I was out for food and drinks. I have completed the Wii today and did Friday but am not that optimisitc for a loss but we shall see tomorrow on weigh in day

Thursday, 15 December 2011

Crisp Watch

Never mind Autumn Watch on the BBC - I'm on Crisp Watch.  They have been making a bit of a regular appearance this week. Not even my normal preggers addiction of the cheese ball variety or even the lovely bacon frazzles but just plain ready salted. 

Last night I happened to mention this to the hubster who said "whoa you didn't tell me this" - he hasn't read my blog in a long time and I don't tell him what I eat on a daily basis how boring is that!  I justified it by saying that overall my calorie intake was still good for losing weight and I'm always hungry of an evening.  But he had a valid point that I am replacing the fat I'm losing with new fat from the crisps.  So today they didn't pass my lips and I think I need to apply this to biscuits, mince pies (the homemade kind the shop bought ones are rankton) and chocolate (this is an easy one as crisps are my thang).

I am out tomorrow night for a good old drink and take-away with the Year 1 mums so a date with the Wii is essential!

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

TrolleyGate

So I come out of Aldi trolley piled high with all their lovely Xmas bits together with the weeks shop.  The little fella taking up the helm.  I turn to open the sliding door to my car, let go of the trolley momentarily, and in slow motion watch it smack head on into a parked car.  Now I am normally a law abiding citizen but had the person not been sitting I would have hurriedly loaded the car up with toddler and driven off at break neck speed.

As it was this did not happen and I did the decent thing. I said I was very sorry, my fault, took picture of offending 4 inch scratch and minor indentation and gave all my details.  Why I gave the name of my car insurers I don't know - the car was the innocent party in this sorry saga.

The lady was very nice, mid to late forties, middle class and said it was her husband's "vintage" car.  It was 1993 golf not GTI but one of those take the roof off numbers.  It needed a clean but that's not going to hold weight in any defence.  She said her husband's mother was ill, he would go mad and I had been very nice about it all.  At first she said it would probably cost £50 as I was departing there was talk of a "new wing".

So that evening I broke it to the hubster - initially he was okay but frosty weather in this house took over later and I was aware he was pissed off at my trolley blunder and quite frankly I am know for this sort of thing.  In my defence and make no mistake about it, I always have a defence - I do get by on about 3 hours kip most nights.  I was very tired yesterday, it was blowing a gale, it was wet and the little fella likes to thrash around in the trolley and pull out the contents and chuck them to the floor.

So the lady phones says the nice little garage she goes to has quoted £600-700 - I say that's not going to happen but then she pipes up someone could do it for £110 + VAT.  She hadn't broken it to her husband yet and we left it at that.  I haven't heard from her tonight I'm sure I will at some stage but I have decided £100 cash is my final offer. That's fair and reasonable in my eyes and if it goes to court so be it. To be honest I'd even like a stint in Jail least I'd get some kip and my dinner cooked up for me. In fact defaulting on any judgement is looking very appealing. 

I accept it was my fault but I'm not going to be turned over. If they had made a scratch to a car possibly worth only £1,000 would they pay £600?  No and this is probably why given a choice most people would drive off at break neck speed as no one these days will ever say "that can be fixed at a reasonable price that we will both find agreeable".

Monday, 12 December 2011

Forever Autumn - Justin Hayward



Thought I'd share this track from The War of the Worlds 1978 album http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Wayne's_Musical_Version_of_The_War_of_the_Worlds.  This album featured heavily in our 1970's household and I love this song.  That is all (as they say in Twitter land).

Monday weigh in..

.... 2 lbs down - how is this possible with the Indian on Saturday night? I don't know maybe its because I was fairly hungry the rest of the week and managed to exercise 3 times. So I've finally gone past the stone mark - I'm 15 lbs lighter than I was when I started this at the end of October.  If someone told my 14 stone 5 lbs self that by Christmas I would be low 13's possibly into the 12 stone I wouldn't have believed it.  Got a busy week food wise this week - out Friday and Saturday so my focus has to be on having soup for my tea a few times this week and making sure I do the Zumba everyday if possible.  Can I lose 5 lbs in 13 days to get me into the 12's for Christmas day? 

Sunday, 11 December 2011

You're wasting away

That's what the hubster keeps saying to me - he thinks its amazing the difference 7 weeks can make. He's very sweet - I'm not wasting away and there's plenty left to be wasted but its nice to know that the fat loss is starting to show.  I don't want to get too carried away as its so easy to put on especially in the next couple of weeks when everything gets relaxed. Take last night for instance.  I didn't cook we got an Indian take-away. We'd had a lovely relaxing family day, got some new Xmas lights with the kids, the fire was on and the mood was set for someone to delivery my dinner to the door.

We shared a tandoori mixed grill so not something covered in a buttery creamy sauce. We did have a starter of grilled halloumi and peppers, poppadoms, shared a naan and had lime rice with cashew nuts.  I was full for the rest of the night,  not uncomfortable but certainly not my usual hungry self. Oh did I mention the wine? Yes a few small glasses of red.

I could well have scuppered my weight loss for this week what with my packet of crisps during the week.  So relaxation has already set in even though I love the feeling of getting slimmer.  Its just an instant mood up lifter and knowing that it is going to keep on going down is very exciting.  So I need to bare that in mind this week as I have not one but two nights out on the trot to negotiate.  Talk is cheap though isn't it? Action is a needed.

I completed my Wii dance today and from Monday I thought I'd switch to the Wii Zumba.  I haven't done this for a while as I got addicted to the Wii dance but I don't get as puffed out now and maybe its time to mix it up a bit.  Having said that if its ain't broke...and all that. 

Saturday, 10 December 2011

Hah, hah, hah, hah...

...stayin alive! Well I very much enjoyed the top ten Bee Gees hits on ITV last night.  Was just flicking and love old footage from the 70's or any era really.  I had forgotten what prolific songwriters they are.  Also the classic Islands in the Stream was written by them. TUNE!! as the like to say on Facebook.  Trouble is they are very difficult to sing along (or screeching) to as I found out today having downloaded one of their "No 1's" albums.  I particularly like the Massachusetts number and will be jigging away to all the classics such as Night Fever and the like during the Christmas break.

It was an early start for me this morning - the little fella woke at 6.30 but wouldn't go back to sleep with me - he'd also said hi at 12.30 am and 4 ish.  Well the onesie was a one off it seems - I still got him another one in any event as he needs to be toastie for the winter.  I caught the end of Mary Poppins with the LF and my daughter.  I'm not a great fan of singing between every scene but she enjoyed it and says she wants to star in a panto when she's older following our trip last week.  I can see her name up in lights now!

Well I'm hungry a good sign.  I'm doubtful I can get into the 12 stone zone pre-Xmas.  I am cooking tonight but am out next week and then relaxation will set in when the kids are off so still a few dangerous weeks to negotiate.  I was inspired by my friend Emma, who I'm sure she won't me saying, was in the 13 stone zone this year and proudly announced she was 10 stone 7lbs as of this week. She has managed this by eating sensibly and going to Zumba workouts twice a week.  So it is possible to be 10 stone something or anything if you really put your mind to it.  My ultimate target is 10 stone 5lbs but at the moment I'll be happy to be in the 12's by the end of December/January.

Friday, 9 December 2011

Wee

Yup not the weeeeee I'm having a whale of a time I mean the yellow stuff.  When dieting I seem to go quite frequently - this isn't good as I am known for a weak bladder anyhow.  I have even wet myself on the M25 even though I did attempt to wee in my daughter's unused nappy. Let me tell you something people those pampers don't hold adult wee I can tell you!  So I don't recommend them at all. I have heard of a Shewee or something like that its basically a funnel type thing. But you still have to whop your trousers down to do that. 

The M25 story is a dinner party favourite - I don't hold dinner parties very often this is probably the reason why but if I did ........ Anyway, let me tell you the story. I was stuck for 3 hours and so perilously close to getting off at my junction.  My son was about 3 ish and my daughter was 18 months and it was daylight when we got stuck and nighttime when we got off. Strictly was on the telly and the battery on my phone was dying slowly. I made the call to the hubby who said something along the lines of "you'll be late then" not "I'll come and lasso you off the motorway and tow you back home as I am your Knight in shining armour". 

When I'm faced with a situation like this my thoughts turn to I need the toilet - its a psychological thing if I know I can't go I want to go.  I was cursing the cups of tea I had drunk before my departure from my parents and did also empty the contents of my son's beaker but rationalised that I couldn't really wee in his beaker could I?  I didn't want to cart all the children to the hard shoulder - but my son wanted a wee so I took him and some kind person let us squat down by their car. We thanked them and merrily went back to our car.  Another hour passed and the wee urge came on strong.  My daughter who was a nightmare toddler at the time didn't help matters by constantly banging her feet into the back of the drivers seat.  I couldn't go back on the hard shoulder (we were in the middle lane) and it was dark outside.  The youngest was asleep and my son didn't need to go. He was quite content saying "I wish our car could fly mummy" and "this is traffic isn't it mummy". 

I reached for the glove compartment and there, behold, was a unused nappy. The emergency nappy. This was an emergency I needed the loo. So I slipped it into my jeans and let out a sigh of relief - the relief when you're busting is immense isn't it? Only the nappy got full very quickly obviously its not used to adult size wee and my jeans were soaking as was the seat and now I had a crystallised nappy (you know when they've gotten so full).  At that point the traffic starts to move.  I arrive home 3 hours later than anticipated arrival and have to admit to my husband (after I rushed by him to get changed) that I had wet myself whilst pissing in a nappy.  Who says romance is dead!

Thursday, 8 December 2011

"Super Womble...



....cleaning up the universe in his super womble tights".

I loved this record - I would have been  20 months when this came out in 1975 but I do remember having the 7inch record of it.  Either I have an exceptional memory and the ability to put on a record at that age or it was re-released at a later date.  I wouldn't mind being a super womble whizzing through the air in my super womble tights. The outfit would certainly come in handy now its getting much colder.  Although not as cold as some people are making out. Its not "freezing" technically and it was certainly much colder with snow this time last year so by and large we've had it very mild thus far.  Maybe the extra fat is keeping me warmer.

Talking of which I am bored of being in the 13 stone zone already and desperately need to exit and make my way into the 12 zone.  However, the little fella has been keeping me up this week and last and probably the week before that.  He isn't sleeping in the day much either a sure sign of those bloody teeth hurry up and get on with it.  It does affect my diet though it has to be said. I am cream crackered today and have unsuccessfully tried to get him to sleep for the past hour. I have relented. He is back downstairs.  It is 1.45 which gives me 1.15 mins before round 2 of my day. Its gotten so busy at the mo - I feel I don't have time to do anything and I will have to go to bed early tonight which I hate as I like to have some down time but I can't I need to re-charge.  The Wii was absent yesterday and I doubt I'll have time now and did I mention the crisps yesterday? Yes they made an appearance again.  Groan and moan - I need to get a grip.
Thankfully I have been hungry most days so I'm confident of a loss this week now if I could only get at least 6 hours...

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Today someone noticed...

.. that I had lost weight. It did kind of stop me in my tracks as I had been happily going about my business and dodging the mums' weight loss radar.  I want to whip off my coat in the Spring and go "ta dah, I've happened to lose 4 stone over the winter months!" As I mentioned before in my blog I don't like people to notice when I lose weight as I tend to celebrate by eating so it really isn't helpful.  I want to go undetected for as long as possible.  Darn it.  Having said this, I did not go out and buy myself a fresh cream cake or anything of that description, it did actually spur me on. What is going on?!  I have done all my chores (minus ironing, making Xmas muffins - okay not quite) and am looking forward to getting on the Wii and completing about 4,000 sweat points shortly. 

The mum in question is an acquaintance - a nod and a hello when passing - our eldest are in the same year.  She is a very slim Italian woman and noticed my weight loss from behind!! She asked how many kilos but I couldn't quite remember the equasion is it 2.2lb to 1kg? She estimated 4kg (sold me a bit short but still) and said I was like her - in that the weight goes on her hips.  Bless her I'm nothing like her but the thought was there.  It is nearly Xmas after all!.

Onwards and downwards.

Monday, 5 December 2011

Monday weigh in

I don't know how I've managed this -1lb down - given I was out on Friday and we had chicken and chips after the panto on Saturday I've very pleased.  It could so easily have been a stay the same or a gain.  I have no outings or distractions this week so I can crack on and hopefully shift a big number.

Sunday, 4 December 2011

Damage limitation

Yes I am at that stage of the game today.  What with eating out Friday night and our chicken and chips after the panto yesterday. I have completed just over 4,000 sweat points on the Wii dance and eaten a nominal amount today and will have soup for my tea later.  I am dubious about what the scales will say tomorrow. I'll find out tomorrow. Dah da dah!

Saturday, 3 December 2011

The Buffet Girl Part II

Well last night the Buffet Girl was out at a Thai restaurant £15 stuff yourself silly type affair.  I drove due to a mix up with the travel arrangements - I didn't mind in the slightest as the person I was fetching is great company. The fat outfit got a dusting down and my lovely glitter shoes also got their yearly outing.  Now I didn't look too bad, in fact, the outfit had grown by several inches as my bum has got smaller thereby giving me more fabric to go over my legs. My husband remarked that I looked really lovely and the outfit looked miles better than last year.  So I was good to go.

So how did I fair on the rotating (no less) buffet - pretty, pretty good. I mean I did eat well but I didn't go back for 3rds and 4ths and 5ths and  I was certainly able to stop eating whilst there were several plates still left.  I wasn't groaning at the sides - I was full but not unpleasantly so and certainly not stuffed. The food was ok - nothing spectacular but what do you expect for the price?  I don't go in for the greedy mentality of shoving as much food down your gob just because its £15.  I was surprised that more dishes were ordered up when people had clearly had enough.
Anyway, it was an okay night and I had good company either side of me which was the main thing.  I now have a hideous garlic/chili after taste in my mouth which my husband has gone out for some mints as I don't want to inflict anymore second hand garlic on him and others.  Today is the panto and we are having chips afterwards - I need to do some serious sweat points tomorrow and I'll be amazed if I lose any weight on Monday. 


Me last night - less of a bear head?

Friday, 2 December 2011

The Faffy Little Xmas Bits

The presents have been pur-chased (on-line of course there is no other way) and today I was out getting the 'faffy' bits. That is the cards, wrapping and gift tags.  Now there are not many advantages with shopping with a toddler but the buggy acting as a cart horse is one of them. So I stacked my gift wrap on top of the buggy and trugged up the high street.  I find the whole what Xmas card shall I send to represent us as a family thing a bit of a chore.  By the way, I do like Xmas if that's not coming across, especially with my tree aversion to putting it up on 1st December and all.

I think right I really should put a bit of thought into this. However, I always pick some sparkly Rudolph or Santa inspired childlike card and think that's the one for us.  One year I went a bit poncy and got black and white typical English scenes with a splash of red thrown in.  I also can't be doing with the fancy wrapping paper - I go for the heavily printed Santa, penguin, Rudolph see through paper I got as a child.  I did wrap all the Father Christmas presents in one pattern last year in case the children wondered why he'd used different ones - of course they didn't notice in the slightest.  The wrapping paper is communal and does for my presents and hubbies also.

I've also bought charity cards even though such a nominal amount goes towards the actual charity but its the done thing and I've towed the line.  This year I purchased some Help for Heroes charity cards (from the school fair) which has a picture of a cartoon solider on a camel?  Then there's the individual cards - the 'across the miles', 'mum and dad' and 'special friend'. I used to go a bit mad on the old individual cards which cost a small fortune but as I've gotten older I tend not to bother so much only for the select few!

For years I've sent cards to people who can't be arsed to even send a boxed set one.  This was nothing personal just a general thoughtlessness and one which shouldn't be excused if you're not a teenager.  I thought well I won't let my standards drop and continued to send out cards but last year I thought sod it - I'm going to be tit for tat and not bother my arse either and we can all be thoughtless.

Now, if you are older than a teenager (who are recognised by most countries in the world as being totally self-absorbed) you should be acknowledging your friends/families with Christmas cards - no one is that busy believe me!

Thursday, 1 December 2011

A troll. Not the virtual kind..

...or the rough looking slapper kind or even the one that sat under the bridge.  I am talking about the troll doll.  My husband laughed the other night in bed and said "for a minute there you looked like one of those dolls" maybe its because we have been together for 11 years but I instantly knew he was referring to his beautiful, every decreasing wife as a frigging troll doll!! I said "you mean a troll doll"?! "Yes, that's it". He seems to think they were called something else in the 60's but I couldn't remember them being called anything other than a troll. And yes I did have a few - I loved brushing their hair. That's about as much as you could do with them unless you had Sid (the boy in Toy Story) like tendencies and set light to their plastic bodies. 

The reason why I was likened to the troll doll was my hair was sticking up and my forehead was going all wrinkly as I spoke.  Last night when I said "do I look like a troll tonight"? he reassured me it was a one off - phew hold off on the botox.

Christmas is a coming - its 1st December and I'm sure there's many a mum getting more excited than her children and putting up the tree already. I appreciate that I am in the minority and hold out for as long as I can - normally a week and a bit before Xmas and they are down on 1st January.  What is it with mothers and the Xmas tree? Talk about control freaks I know many who change the decs once the children are in bed, decorate sans the children (?!) and have their own little tree just for themselves.  Maybe they also wear a Onesie whilst decorating.  I think a tree decorated by children looks beautiful with all its imperfections. So if you are a Onesie tree decorating control freak and, if you can, step away from the tree its for the children - let them decorate it and leave well alone!

Other '70's type Christmas presents were Cindy not Barbie and her little friend Pippa. I had a house which was basically a few cardboard sheets with a slidy thing that went in the middle. I loved it. That and Girlsworld - the girls head that you decorate with make-up and dye her lovely golden locks with various colours.  These are still in abudence today as are the games like Kurplunk, Buckeroo, Operation and the world's most annoyingly difficult to set up game - Mousetrap. My children have some lovely toys this Xmas - lego, a talking bunny and a scooter and a few stocking fillers. 

I had a rough night last night - in fact I've had several which seem to have lasted for weeks. My eye is twitching today with tiredness.  When will this child sleep through the night? He did alright for the first 6 months I have written evidence of this honest.  Is this payback for my smugness of the other two sleeping through at 7 and 10 weeks respectively?  I now can't get to sleep before I know he is due to wake up normally anytime between 11.30-1.30 am. Then its normally back up at 3.30 ish - 4.30 then 6 ish then wake him up at 8 am.  Its all very quick a couple of ounces of water/milk to settle but I'm still awake. He's now got a cold - or man flu he's a real wimp with his teeth.  The others cut them like proper tough nuts not my cuddly South London mummy's boy. 

A pattern is emerging though that when I've had a rough night I am less alert on my diet.  I had a packet of crisps 25g with my sandwich again. No real reason just because I wanted to. Although it is Thursday and we were aloud this in the 1970's its not ideal. I have completed 4,000 sweat points today also but lack of sleep will be the biggest saboteur to my diet by far.  I am having soup tonight again for my tea as I am out tomorrow and Saturday its fish and chips after the panto.  A lot of work needs to be done between now and Monday.