Friday, 9 December 2011

Wee

Yup not the weeeeee I'm having a whale of a time I mean the yellow stuff.  When dieting I seem to go quite frequently - this isn't good as I am known for a weak bladder anyhow.  I have even wet myself on the M25 even though I did attempt to wee in my daughter's unused nappy. Let me tell you something people those pampers don't hold adult wee I can tell you!  So I don't recommend them at all. I have heard of a Shewee or something like that its basically a funnel type thing. But you still have to whop your trousers down to do that. 

The M25 story is a dinner party favourite - I don't hold dinner parties very often this is probably the reason why but if I did ........ Anyway, let me tell you the story. I was stuck for 3 hours and so perilously close to getting off at my junction.  My son was about 3 ish and my daughter was 18 months and it was daylight when we got stuck and nighttime when we got off. Strictly was on the telly and the battery on my phone was dying slowly. I made the call to the hubby who said something along the lines of "you'll be late then" not "I'll come and lasso you off the motorway and tow you back home as I am your Knight in shining armour". 

When I'm faced with a situation like this my thoughts turn to I need the toilet - its a psychological thing if I know I can't go I want to go.  I was cursing the cups of tea I had drunk before my departure from my parents and did also empty the contents of my son's beaker but rationalised that I couldn't really wee in his beaker could I?  I didn't want to cart all the children to the hard shoulder - but my son wanted a wee so I took him and some kind person let us squat down by their car. We thanked them and merrily went back to our car.  Another hour passed and the wee urge came on strong.  My daughter who was a nightmare toddler at the time didn't help matters by constantly banging her feet into the back of the drivers seat.  I couldn't go back on the hard shoulder (we were in the middle lane) and it was dark outside.  The youngest was asleep and my son didn't need to go. He was quite content saying "I wish our car could fly mummy" and "this is traffic isn't it mummy". 

I reached for the glove compartment and there, behold, was a unused nappy. The emergency nappy. This was an emergency I needed the loo. So I slipped it into my jeans and let out a sigh of relief - the relief when you're busting is immense isn't it? Only the nappy got full very quickly obviously its not used to adult size wee and my jeans were soaking as was the seat and now I had a crystallised nappy (you know when they've gotten so full).  At that point the traffic starts to move.  I arrive home 3 hours later than anticipated arrival and have to admit to my husband (after I rushed by him to get changed) that I had wet myself whilst pissing in a nappy.  Who says romance is dead!

4 comments:

  1. Oh My God! Priceless...this should win an award! ;) Pampers needs to up the ante with their nappies, eh?

    :) Karin

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  2. They don't make them like they used to! I think there is a market for adult nappies - what do you think!! x

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  3. Ha ha I have had a simlar experience!!

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  4. Glad to hear I'm not the only one!!

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