Sunday, 27 November 2011

Onesies are for Twats. Fact.

If you are over the age of 10 (much like ballet pumps) and are of sound mind you should repeat should not be wearing an adult onesie.  Actually scrap that, even if you're over the age of 18 months you should not be wearing one of these things.  WTF is wrong with people?!  Apparently sales of these sexual repellent to your spouse outfits are expected to exceed 750,000 in the UK over the Xmas period. 

George Osborne probably has a onesie
Are you insane?!  Have you just stepped off the set of the 1975's classic One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest?  At what point does a grown woman or indeed a man (I mean my gaydar would be going into overdrive if my man said he's just purchased one of these to kick back into) think that this is a good outfit to wear day or night. I mean do people sleep in these things too?  Do you never ever want your partner to find you sexually attractive again?  Of course, if you are from the George Osborne brigade than this will be highly attractive coupled with a bit of spanking. But for us working classes who induldge in normalish sex - have you just given up? Come on, trust me, this is not a good look.

It does raise the question though - why are they so popular?  I think I might have the answer.  People like to regress back to their childhood. Or maybe not their childhood if it was particularly crappy but certainly to go back to a child like state of mind. Where everything is simple, black and white and the world seems like a nice place to be oblivious to all the horrors that go on in the adult world.

Onesies wearers you need to grow a pair and fast.  Get on with it. You are an adult and you need to act like one for goodness sake and ditch the giant babygrow. And like Forrest Gump said "and that's all I've got to say about that".

Twat alert - this couple  haven't had sex in a long time


  1. These are hilarious! I saw a commercial for them recently and the best part is that the backs open so you can use the bathroom without taking it off!

  2. O.M.G - I feel violated now - that's just gross - I will have a good look at your blog Hiker Mom!