Thursday, 3 November 2011

The Buffet Girl

 I am she.  The Buffet Girl. This name came about after my mum told my husband the story (for the first time I might add) of when I was approx 3 years old - so lets say 1976.  It was Christmas time and we were all at my granny's house.  My granny was a wonderful cook and even made us homemade Easter eggs with our names inscribed on them. Its a pity my mother didn't pick up any handy tips or her passion for cooking, but then I would have been a very fat child and I wouldn't be losing any weight from 'The 1970's diet'.

Being a dab hand in the kitchen, Granny had laid a feast for us to devour in the form of a buffet.  Now, the story goes that when it was time to leave and realising that I would no longer be in the presence of food, I grabbed a mince pie and shoved it in my mouth - a car journey snack some might say.  My mum said that I was so full, having eaten my fair share of the buffet, that the mince pie got lodged in my throat. She promptly put her fingers down my throat to remove the offending mince pie to prevent me from choking. Saved from a buffet! She also added that whenever there was a buffet at parties etc she would have to 'physically remove the food' to stop me returning.

My husband found this all to be rather amusing and since that day I have been know privately between the two of us as "The Buffet Girl".  He will come up to me at a party and whisper in my ear "alright Buffet Girl"! I might add that my husband isn't a wanker if he is coming across that way - we both find this very funny.

Truth be told I do really struggle whenever there is a buffet present. All the things you love laid out in front of you waiting to be eaten. I'm sure my eyes light up once the hostess yells "food is ready". My particular favourite is prawn vol au vents - yes very 1970's but I love them. In my mind a party just ain't a party if these bad boys aren't there.  I made sure they were in my wedding buffet which if I remember rightly, I only had one trip up to the buffet table that day.

I don't know what it is about buffet's but I cannot stop myself returning back to them.  I think its because I love the taste of food and one taste isn't enough I need to keep experiencing it again and again and again.  I am getting better at them and can exercise a bit of self control but my god its hard! I say to myself "step away from the buffet table". 

Kids parties were also very difficult for me in the beginning. I have 3 children and they get invited to lots of parties.  One year I took a look around and noticed that it was only the chubby mummies who were dipping their paws into the bowl of chesse balls, cocktail sausages etc. The slim mum's were standing back from the buffet. Right now even The Buffet Girl can step away from the buffet table. 

A mince pie - much like the one that left the buffet table


  1. i am SUCH a buffet fan. On an otherise dull Saturday night, Ill often knock up some sarnies cut into wedges, pizza slices, sausage rolls, bowl of salad etc, and declare it 'buffet night' which seems quite reasonable until you know it's usually just me and my son in the house. It's my absolute favourite food. The perceived choice, customisation and abundance is what makes it feel festive, and it reminds us of happy times when there is a bunch of people around and everyones had a drink and even if your vantage point was leaning over the stairs in your nightie, a party is a party. Vive La Buffet! Unless it's from Iceland. That yellow breadcrumbed shit is poison x

    1. My first comment on this post - those were the days of no comments!Yes and the prawn ring for like £1 you just know you're going to be suffereing if you eat that. I love your comments they are like mini blog posts x