Saturday, 31 December 2011

The Biggest Loser

Well I have just tried this game out on the X-box Kinect.   I chose Bob as my trainer as he is 'fit' and not just in the true sense of the word. I know he is of a different persuasion but still - I might try Gillian out next time.  So your body gets scanned and its so life like it is depressing.  I am a wobbly weeble at the bottom right of the screen and I turn green when I'm following Bob correctly and red when not.  I would suggest, if you do buy his game, not to have the kids watching whilst rolling about laughing at your "big bum". It follows your actions perfectly. However, it really is one for the evening given that the little fella isn't sleeping much in the day - this is a bit of a draw back as I do like to complete my exercise in the day.

I only did 30 mins at moderate level and it did give me a little sweat and it was hard in places. The star jumps were horrible as were the lunges. Its proper working out old school my friends. I choose the 12 week fat burning programme and it says I will be at my goal weight by then.  The calorie count was a bit disappointing 144 for 30 mins - that's no good.  I will continue to do the Wii dance/Zumba alongside this programme and possibly change it to challenging once I get used to the screens etc.

I do find the X-box Kinect to be so frustrating with the waving of the hand to get to the setting you want. Think of the Wii when you first buy it and how frustrating it was to get the finger to point to what you wanted  - well times that by 100 and you get the idea of the X-box Kinect - it takes too long and you can stand there for about 5 mins at times just to get to something you want to do. Maybe when we all get used to it it will become easier. I also gave Dance Central a go and was equally unimpressed however the negotiation of the menu is much easier - more of a swiping action. The music was pretty naff too. 

I am still a Wii devotee I'm afraid but maybe that will change over the coming weeks.

Wednesday, 28 December 2011

Inappropriate Present Reaction Syndrome

Well that's what I have by all accounts (I have made up the syndrome but think its quite a good one what do you think?).  My reaction is non-plused, no smile before swiftly moving onto the next present! Well I never.  I always say that if a person perceives you in a certain way that is the way you are seen by others.

Irrespective of whether you think you are like that or not.  Like the classic "well I didn't mean it to come out like that".  If the person on the receiving end interprets it in a different manner, then, that is how you have come across. Fact.  Uncomfortable, unfortunate but true.  So I have to accept if that's the perception then that is the truth if I am to abide by my own rule making.

Now as anyone who knows me well and has been reading this blog will be fully aware I will have a defence for this perception.  This was pointed out to me by my sister (they are twins and were around last night together with my brother-in-law for more food eating) unintentionally - or was it?!  She said she was surprised my other sister's present got a reaction.  On further enquiry she said I was "known" for not showing much emotion when opening presents and moving swiftly onto the next one.  Well there is an element of truth to this I must admit.  But I did think I smiled, said thank you and then moved swiftly on.  I don't do jazz hands or get all excited when opening presents. I am 38 not 8 and I never really feel the need to prolong the "oh wow thanks that's really kind of you".  I mean a present is a present.  Its nice - thank you - onto the next one!  Equally I wouldn't expect a pro-longed reaction to any present I have given and don't need to be watching the person open it or get them to describe the moment they opened my wonderful gift.

My sisters do have Present Overload Syndrome (made that one up too) though!  They spend hours opening gifts they have purchased for each other and it can go on for hours, one at a time, so everyone can watch the expression on the person opening the present.  I have to say I do find this a tad tedious especially if the present is not from you! I am also not interested in asking people what they got and telling them what I got - I find it a bit too personal and don't want to sound like I'm showboating or being show offie.  I got a gorgeous diamond eternity ring by the way but I didn't put it on facebook and won't be showing it off unless I'm specifically asked. I just feels a bit tacky to do so.

However, I am genuinely grateful for any present received so I will make more of an effort to express that in future.  I do love cards, more so than presents, especially from the kids and from the hubster and which I always keep.  I like seeing them hit the doormat all colourful and inviting, recognising the handwriting and the little effort that has gone into choosing one and posting it. 

So next year if you see my clapping my hands like the gay bloke out of Will and Grace you will now that I'm trying to overcome my Inappropriate Present Reaction Syndrome.

Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Three months to get it off..

...the Xmas weight that is. My blog titles are beginning to resemble a cross between Kenneth Williams and Dick Emery these days with the double entendres and all.  That was the predictable prediction in the paper today. Yes, its going to take you three months to get the Xmas weight off.  Really?  I don't think so somehow.  By all accounts the food we consume on Xmas day alone would give you enough food to keep you going for a week if you didn't eat another morsel.  I suspect this article, along with all the others -  the Little Black Dress diet (see my previous post), any other diet you can think of and the celebrities before and after pictures for this year are dug out to fill the papers during the festive season.

We should also be due the avalanche of Weigh Watchers and the like on the telly any minute now.  And did you know you could get a sofa interest free for 3 years? It had escaped my notice.

Welcome to the short lived diet season and resolutions. I don't do resolutions - I used to when I was about 15 but as a fully fledged grown woman I tend to address the To Do List during the course of the year.

Well I've been on the wagon since October have fallen off over the last week or so - not spectacularly but enough to get muddy (or should I say down and dirty if this is Dick Emery/Kenneth Williams blog post).

So tomorrow I'm back on the wagon although I have a few more bumpy roads to negotiate.  We are being entertained Thursday and Friday and then there's New Year's Eve but that's a cosy night in for us so shouldn't be too hard negotiate. 

Tomorrow I'm going to complete some dancing on the X-box Kinect (a xmas presents for me the kids) - I have the biggest loser as well which I will start once the kids go back to school.  Let's hope my gain and any back dated gain that may be due next week will come off and it won't take a ridiculous 3 months to shift. And I can stick two fingers up at the hacks who tell me otherwise.

Monday, 26 December 2011

Boxing Day are you frigging mad Weigh In

Yes I am and this morning I weighed in - I did try and post this using my phone but I'm a bit of a Luddite and was unsuccessful. Anyhow 3lb GAIN - dah dah dah.  And I feel it I can tell you.  My boobs and tummy feel massively bigger and I feel bloated.  I have my sisters around tomorrow evening so soup for lunch. I'm glad I weighed in better to face it and its certainly made me think about that bit of Xmas pudding before I eat it!

Saturday, 24 December 2011

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

to all my merry band of followers you know who you are as I certainly don't! I probably won't be blogging for a couple of days but certainly will next week to give you the low down show down. There is, of course, my weigh in on Boxing Day - are you kidding me?  Until then have a great one people! Natasha xx

Friday, 23 December 2011

Beware of The Xmas Bragger

They will lead you into a false sense of eating security.  Much like the size 10 friend who speaks of all the naughty things they have consumed and how they have "stuffed themselves silly", "haven't been good" etc etc but still remain, surprisingly enough, the same weight. The Xmas Bragger who speaks of all things consumed leading up to and after Xmas, can unwittingly throw you not just off the dieting course, but hurtle you spectacularly off and over the cliff completely.

There are two more sleeps as more mums than children will tell you till the big day.  There is already Facebook talk of Quality Street tins being opened - 3 consumed already?!, scrummy meals out, drinks consumed, hangovers and on and on it will go until the predictable comments of "am sooo stuffed" "can't eat another thing" "eaten so much crap" will be surfacing before 9pm on Xmas day.  The trick is (easier said than done) is not to think this is the green light for my big bad arsed self!  Most of these people are not overweight in the first place and I will do well to remember that.  They are of a normal weight and if they want to consume a whole tin of Quality Street then that is their prerogative.  However, it is more likely that given they are of sound weight that their stomach wouldn't be able to take such abuse and the tin was probably shared amongst several others.  You never get the true picture - these people's ideas of pigging out are very different to my own previous pigging out during the festive season.

So whilst pigging out during the festive season, egged on by the Facebook Status's (lets face it there's not going to be too many which say am desperately trying not to over indulge up to Xmas day), remember The Xmas Bragger will come back from the break no bigger than when they starter it.

A 1970's tin of Quality Street

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

Time to talk about my Fanny

Well it wouldn't be Xmas without Fanny Cradock would it? I loved her bossy, school mistress manner with her mad eyebrows and drag queen look. Her poor assistant always looked terrified and scurried around doing as she was told before she got beaten with a sharp stick.

I had to share this 1975 clip of her making a disgusting mincemeat omelet. I mean, really, it wouldn't have been hard to be slim in the 70's if you were eating A la Fanny would it?

The BBC did a really good drama on her life story where her ultimate downfall was when she was rude to a housewife who was holding a dinner party. It was filmed in a cafe and the poor woman was telling Fanny what she planned to cook. Fanny's reaction was typical and she pulled an expression of disgust before exclaiming "good god no woman" or something along those lines. I'm sure it would be on youtube somewhere. She was no longer the 1970's housewife's favourite after that.

I particularly like her parting words of admiring the Housewife's of Britain trying to give their families a decent Xmas in the most appalling times. Little did she know that 2011 would be on a par with 1975.


Monday, 19 December 2011

Weigh In

1lb down - I'll take that as was out 2 nights on the trot need to do some work this week prior to Xmas day lunch and beyond.

Sunday, 18 December 2011

In the style of Michael Douglas...

..Father Christmas was paid a visit.  There was nearly a 2 hour wait where I lost the will to live. I acted out an imaginary scene in my head similar to that of the film Falling Down (starring Michael Douglas where he loses the plot).  I barged my way up the line (kids in tow) flinging all other children and adults aside, emptied the sacks marked boys 7-8 girls 5-6, grabbed the presents and said to the big fella "get a fucking move on you god damm mother fucker"! How long does it take to say what's your name, age and what do you want for Xmas?  On exiting I pulled out my sawn-off shotgun and blasted the 2 reindeer's, calmly walked out of the hotel and drove off in the Kia Sedona.

Of course this did not happen but this is a lesson to anyone that doesn't go somewhere that is a) quiet like a garden centre or 2) pre-book a slot.  In fairness the kids had a good time.  We took our ticket and were told it would be 1 hour (LIARS!) during this "hour" they were able to decorate a biscuit, a snowflake, read a book, have a dance on the disco, write a letter and post it to Santa or wait in a massive queue for face painting. They had juice out of a glass with straw, crisps and a run around in the hotel grounds. There were two reindeer that they were able to feed and a sleigh to sit in.  Father Christmas was pretty realistic (he had a German or Irish accent couldn't quite figure him out) the presents were decent and it cost £10 per child. Even the little fella was fairly okay but waited in the car during the final queueing process and we could take our own photos and not be right royally ripped off by the hotel's photography.  Plus it was 2 min drvie from our house.

Next year I feel the garden centre will make a come back. 

I had a good time on Friday and Saturday when I was out for food and drinks. I have completed the Wii today and did Friday but am not that optimisitc for a loss but we shall see tomorrow on weigh in day

Thursday, 15 December 2011

Crisp Watch

Never mind Autumn Watch on the BBC - I'm on Crisp Watch.  They have been making a bit of a regular appearance this week. Not even my normal preggers addiction of the cheese ball variety or even the lovely bacon frazzles but just plain ready salted. 

Last night I happened to mention this to the hubster who said "whoa you didn't tell me this" - he hasn't read my blog in a long time and I don't tell him what I eat on a daily basis how boring is that!  I justified it by saying that overall my calorie intake was still good for losing weight and I'm always hungry of an evening.  But he had a valid point that I am replacing the fat I'm losing with new fat from the crisps.  So today they didn't pass my lips and I think I need to apply this to biscuits, mince pies (the homemade kind the shop bought ones are rankton) and chocolate (this is an easy one as crisps are my thang).

I am out tomorrow night for a good old drink and take-away with the Year 1 mums so a date with the Wii is essential!

Wednesday, 14 December 2011


So I come out of Aldi trolley piled high with all their lovely Xmas bits together with the weeks shop.  The little fella taking up the helm.  I turn to open the sliding door to my car, let go of the trolley momentarily, and in slow motion watch it smack head on into a parked car.  Now I am normally a law abiding citizen but had the person not been sitting I would have hurriedly loaded the car up with toddler and driven off at break neck speed.

As it was this did not happen and I did the decent thing. I said I was very sorry, my fault, took picture of offending 4 inch scratch and minor indentation and gave all my details.  Why I gave the name of my car insurers I don't know - the car was the innocent party in this sorry saga.

The lady was very nice, mid to late forties, middle class and said it was her husband's "vintage" car.  It was 1993 golf not GTI but one of those take the roof off numbers.  It needed a clean but that's not going to hold weight in any defence.  She said her husband's mother was ill, he would go mad and I had been very nice about it all.  At first she said it would probably cost £50 as I was departing there was talk of a "new wing".

So that evening I broke it to the hubster - initially he was okay but frosty weather in this house took over later and I was aware he was pissed off at my trolley blunder and quite frankly I am know for this sort of thing.  In my defence and make no mistake about it, I always have a defence - I do get by on about 3 hours kip most nights.  I was very tired yesterday, it was blowing a gale, it was wet and the little fella likes to thrash around in the trolley and pull out the contents and chuck them to the floor.

So the lady phones says the nice little garage she goes to has quoted £600-700 - I say that's not going to happen but then she pipes up someone could do it for £110 + VAT.  She hadn't broken it to her husband yet and we left it at that.  I haven't heard from her tonight I'm sure I will at some stage but I have decided £100 cash is my final offer. That's fair and reasonable in my eyes and if it goes to court so be it. To be honest I'd even like a stint in Jail least I'd get some kip and my dinner cooked up for me. In fact defaulting on any judgement is looking very appealing. 

I accept it was my fault but I'm not going to be turned over. If they had made a scratch to a car possibly worth only £1,000 would they pay £600?  No and this is probably why given a choice most people would drive off at break neck speed as no one these days will ever say "that can be fixed at a reasonable price that we will both find agreeable".

Monday, 12 December 2011

Forever Autumn - Justin Hayward

Thought I'd share this track from The War of the Worlds 1978 album's_Musical_Version_of_The_War_of_the_Worlds.  This album featured heavily in our 1970's household and I love this song.  That is all (as they say in Twitter land).

Monday weigh in..

.... 2 lbs down - how is this possible with the Indian on Saturday night? I don't know maybe its because I was fairly hungry the rest of the week and managed to exercise 3 times. So I've finally gone past the stone mark - I'm 15 lbs lighter than I was when I started this at the end of October.  If someone told my 14 stone 5 lbs self that by Christmas I would be low 13's possibly into the 12 stone I wouldn't have believed it.  Got a busy week food wise this week - out Friday and Saturday so my focus has to be on having soup for my tea a few times this week and making sure I do the Zumba everyday if possible.  Can I lose 5 lbs in 13 days to get me into the 12's for Christmas day? 

Sunday, 11 December 2011

You're wasting away

That's what the hubster keeps saying to me - he thinks its amazing the difference 7 weeks can make. He's very sweet - I'm not wasting away and there's plenty left to be wasted but its nice to know that the fat loss is starting to show.  I don't want to get too carried away as its so easy to put on especially in the next couple of weeks when everything gets relaxed. Take last night for instance.  I didn't cook we got an Indian take-away. We'd had a lovely relaxing family day, got some new Xmas lights with the kids, the fire was on and the mood was set for someone to delivery my dinner to the door.

We shared a tandoori mixed grill so not something covered in a buttery creamy sauce. We did have a starter of grilled halloumi and peppers, poppadoms, shared a naan and had lime rice with cashew nuts.  I was full for the rest of the night,  not uncomfortable but certainly not my usual hungry self. Oh did I mention the wine? Yes a few small glasses of red.

I could well have scuppered my weight loss for this week what with my packet of crisps during the week.  So relaxation has already set in even though I love the feeling of getting slimmer.  Its just an instant mood up lifter and knowing that it is going to keep on going down is very exciting.  So I need to bare that in mind this week as I have not one but two nights out on the trot to negotiate.  Talk is cheap though isn't it? Action is a needed.

I completed my Wii dance today and from Monday I thought I'd switch to the Wii Zumba.  I haven't done this for a while as I got addicted to the Wii dance but I don't get as puffed out now and maybe its time to mix it up a bit.  Having said that if its ain't broke...and all that. 

Saturday, 10 December 2011

Hah, hah, hah, hah...

...stayin alive! Well I very much enjoyed the top ten Bee Gees hits on ITV last night.  Was just flicking and love old footage from the 70's or any era really.  I had forgotten what prolific songwriters they are.  Also the classic Islands in the Stream was written by them. TUNE!! as the like to say on Facebook.  Trouble is they are very difficult to sing along (or screeching) to as I found out today having downloaded one of their "No 1's" albums.  I particularly like the Massachusetts number and will be jigging away to all the classics such as Night Fever and the like during the Christmas break.

It was an early start for me this morning - the little fella woke at 6.30 but wouldn't go back to sleep with me - he'd also said hi at 12.30 am and 4 ish.  Well the onesie was a one off it seems - I still got him another one in any event as he needs to be toastie for the winter.  I caught the end of Mary Poppins with the LF and my daughter.  I'm not a great fan of singing between every scene but she enjoyed it and says she wants to star in a panto when she's older following our trip last week.  I can see her name up in lights now!

Well I'm hungry a good sign.  I'm doubtful I can get into the 12 stone zone pre-Xmas.  I am cooking tonight but am out next week and then relaxation will set in when the kids are off so still a few dangerous weeks to negotiate.  I was inspired by my friend Emma, who I'm sure she won't me saying, was in the 13 stone zone this year and proudly announced she was 10 stone 7lbs as of this week. She has managed this by eating sensibly and going to Zumba workouts twice a week.  So it is possible to be 10 stone something or anything if you really put your mind to it.  My ultimate target is 10 stone 5lbs but at the moment I'll be happy to be in the 12's by the end of December/January.

Friday, 9 December 2011


Yup not the weeeeee I'm having a whale of a time I mean the yellow stuff.  When dieting I seem to go quite frequently - this isn't good as I am known for a weak bladder anyhow.  I have even wet myself on the M25 even though I did attempt to wee in my daughter's unused nappy. Let me tell you something people those pampers don't hold adult wee I can tell you!  So I don't recommend them at all. I have heard of a Shewee or something like that its basically a funnel type thing. But you still have to whop your trousers down to do that. 

The M25 story is a dinner party favourite - I don't hold dinner parties very often this is probably the reason why but if I did ........ Anyway, let me tell you the story. I was stuck for 3 hours and so perilously close to getting off at my junction.  My son was about 3 ish and my daughter was 18 months and it was daylight when we got stuck and nighttime when we got off. Strictly was on the telly and the battery on my phone was dying slowly. I made the call to the hubby who said something along the lines of "you'll be late then" not "I'll come and lasso you off the motorway and tow you back home as I am your Knight in shining armour". 

When I'm faced with a situation like this my thoughts turn to I need the toilet - its a psychological thing if I know I can't go I want to go.  I was cursing the cups of tea I had drunk before my departure from my parents and did also empty the contents of my son's beaker but rationalised that I couldn't really wee in his beaker could I?  I didn't want to cart all the children to the hard shoulder - but my son wanted a wee so I took him and some kind person let us squat down by their car. We thanked them and merrily went back to our car.  Another hour passed and the wee urge came on strong.  My daughter who was a nightmare toddler at the time didn't help matters by constantly banging her feet into the back of the drivers seat.  I couldn't go back on the hard shoulder (we were in the middle lane) and it was dark outside.  The youngest was asleep and my son didn't need to go. He was quite content saying "I wish our car could fly mummy" and "this is traffic isn't it mummy". 

I reached for the glove compartment and there, behold, was a unused nappy. The emergency nappy. This was an emergency I needed the loo. So I slipped it into my jeans and let out a sigh of relief - the relief when you're busting is immense isn't it? Only the nappy got full very quickly obviously its not used to adult size wee and my jeans were soaking as was the seat and now I had a crystallised nappy (you know when they've gotten so full).  At that point the traffic starts to move.  I arrive home 3 hours later than anticipated arrival and have to admit to my husband (after I rushed by him to get changed) that I had wet myself whilst pissing in a nappy.  Who says romance is dead!

Thursday, 8 December 2011

"Super Womble... up the universe in his super womble tights".

I loved this record - I would have been  20 months when this came out in 1975 but I do remember having the 7inch record of it.  Either I have an exceptional memory and the ability to put on a record at that age or it was re-released at a later date.  I wouldn't mind being a super womble whizzing through the air in my super womble tights. The outfit would certainly come in handy now its getting much colder.  Although not as cold as some people are making out. Its not "freezing" technically and it was certainly much colder with snow this time last year so by and large we've had it very mild thus far.  Maybe the extra fat is keeping me warmer.

Talking of which I am bored of being in the 13 stone zone already and desperately need to exit and make my way into the 12 zone.  However, the little fella has been keeping me up this week and last and probably the week before that.  He isn't sleeping in the day much either a sure sign of those bloody teeth hurry up and get on with it.  It does affect my diet though it has to be said. I am cream crackered today and have unsuccessfully tried to get him to sleep for the past hour. I have relented. He is back downstairs.  It is 1.45 which gives me 1.15 mins before round 2 of my day. Its gotten so busy at the mo - I feel I don't have time to do anything and I will have to go to bed early tonight which I hate as I like to have some down time but I can't I need to re-charge.  The Wii was absent yesterday and I doubt I'll have time now and did I mention the crisps yesterday? Yes they made an appearance again.  Groan and moan - I need to get a grip.
Thankfully I have been hungry most days so I'm confident of a loss this week now if I could only get at least 6 hours...

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Today someone noticed...

.. that I had lost weight. It did kind of stop me in my tracks as I had been happily going about my business and dodging the mums' weight loss radar.  I want to whip off my coat in the Spring and go "ta dah, I've happened to lose 4 stone over the winter months!" As I mentioned before in my blog I don't like people to notice when I lose weight as I tend to celebrate by eating so it really isn't helpful.  I want to go undetected for as long as possible.  Darn it.  Having said this, I did not go out and buy myself a fresh cream cake or anything of that description, it did actually spur me on. What is going on?!  I have done all my chores (minus ironing, making Xmas muffins - okay not quite) and am looking forward to getting on the Wii and completing about 4,000 sweat points shortly. 

The mum in question is an acquaintance - a nod and a hello when passing - our eldest are in the same year.  She is a very slim Italian woman and noticed my weight loss from behind!! She asked how many kilos but I couldn't quite remember the equasion is it 2.2lb to 1kg? She estimated 4kg (sold me a bit short but still) and said I was like her - in that the weight goes on her hips.  Bless her I'm nothing like her but the thought was there.  It is nearly Xmas after all!.

Onwards and downwards.

Monday, 5 December 2011

Monday weigh in

I don't know how I've managed this -1lb down - given I was out on Friday and we had chicken and chips after the panto on Saturday I've very pleased.  It could so easily have been a stay the same or a gain.  I have no outings or distractions this week so I can crack on and hopefully shift a big number.

Sunday, 4 December 2011

Damage limitation

Yes I am at that stage of the game today.  What with eating out Friday night and our chicken and chips after the panto yesterday. I have completed just over 4,000 sweat points on the Wii dance and eaten a nominal amount today and will have soup for my tea later.  I am dubious about what the scales will say tomorrow. I'll find out tomorrow. Dah da dah!

Saturday, 3 December 2011

The Buffet Girl Part II

Well last night the Buffet Girl was out at a Thai restaurant £15 stuff yourself silly type affair.  I drove due to a mix up with the travel arrangements - I didn't mind in the slightest as the person I was fetching is great company. The fat outfit got a dusting down and my lovely glitter shoes also got their yearly outing.  Now I didn't look too bad, in fact, the outfit had grown by several inches as my bum has got smaller thereby giving me more fabric to go over my legs. My husband remarked that I looked really lovely and the outfit looked miles better than last year.  So I was good to go.

So how did I fair on the rotating (no less) buffet - pretty, pretty good. I mean I did eat well but I didn't go back for 3rds and 4ths and 5ths and  I was certainly able to stop eating whilst there were several plates still left.  I wasn't groaning at the sides - I was full but not unpleasantly so and certainly not stuffed. The food was ok - nothing spectacular but what do you expect for the price?  I don't go in for the greedy mentality of shoving as much food down your gob just because its £15.  I was surprised that more dishes were ordered up when people had clearly had enough.
Anyway, it was an okay night and I had good company either side of me which was the main thing.  I now have a hideous garlic/chili after taste in my mouth which my husband has gone out for some mints as I don't want to inflict anymore second hand garlic on him and others.  Today is the panto and we are having chips afterwards - I need to do some serious sweat points tomorrow and I'll be amazed if I lose any weight on Monday. 

Me last night - less of a bear head?

Friday, 2 December 2011

The Faffy Little Xmas Bits

The presents have been pur-chased (on-line of course there is no other way) and today I was out getting the 'faffy' bits. That is the cards, wrapping and gift tags.  Now there are not many advantages with shopping with a toddler but the buggy acting as a cart horse is one of them. So I stacked my gift wrap on top of the buggy and trugged up the high street.  I find the whole what Xmas card shall I send to represent us as a family thing a bit of a chore.  By the way, I do like Xmas if that's not coming across, especially with my tree aversion to putting it up on 1st December and all.

I think right I really should put a bit of thought into this. However, I always pick some sparkly Rudolph or Santa inspired childlike card and think that's the one for us.  One year I went a bit poncy and got black and white typical English scenes with a splash of red thrown in.  I also can't be doing with the fancy wrapping paper - I go for the heavily printed Santa, penguin, Rudolph see through paper I got as a child.  I did wrap all the Father Christmas presents in one pattern last year in case the children wondered why he'd used different ones - of course they didn't notice in the slightest.  The wrapping paper is communal and does for my presents and hubbies also.

I've also bought charity cards even though such a nominal amount goes towards the actual charity but its the done thing and I've towed the line.  This year I purchased some Help for Heroes charity cards (from the school fair) which has a picture of a cartoon solider on a camel?  Then there's the individual cards - the 'across the miles', 'mum and dad' and 'special friend'. I used to go a bit mad on the old individual cards which cost a small fortune but as I've gotten older I tend not to bother so much only for the select few!

For years I've sent cards to people who can't be arsed to even send a boxed set one.  This was nothing personal just a general thoughtlessness and one which shouldn't be excused if you're not a teenager.  I thought well I won't let my standards drop and continued to send out cards but last year I thought sod it - I'm going to be tit for tat and not bother my arse either and we can all be thoughtless.

Now, if you are older than a teenager (who are recognised by most countries in the world as being totally self-absorbed) you should be acknowledging your friends/families with Christmas cards - no one is that busy believe me!

Thursday, 1 December 2011

A troll. Not the virtual kind..

...or the rough looking slapper kind or even the one that sat under the bridge.  I am talking about the troll doll.  My husband laughed the other night in bed and said "for a minute there you looked like one of those dolls" maybe its because we have been together for 11 years but I instantly knew he was referring to his beautiful, every decreasing wife as a frigging troll doll!! I said "you mean a troll doll"?! "Yes, that's it". He seems to think they were called something else in the 60's but I couldn't remember them being called anything other than a troll. And yes I did have a few - I loved brushing their hair. That's about as much as you could do with them unless you had Sid (the boy in Toy Story) like tendencies and set light to their plastic bodies. 

The reason why I was likened to the troll doll was my hair was sticking up and my forehead was going all wrinkly as I spoke.  Last night when I said "do I look like a troll tonight"? he reassured me it was a one off - phew hold off on the botox.

Christmas is a coming - its 1st December and I'm sure there's many a mum getting more excited than her children and putting up the tree already. I appreciate that I am in the minority and hold out for as long as I can - normally a week and a bit before Xmas and they are down on 1st January.  What is it with mothers and the Xmas tree? Talk about control freaks I know many who change the decs once the children are in bed, decorate sans the children (?!) and have their own little tree just for themselves.  Maybe they also wear a Onesie whilst decorating.  I think a tree decorated by children looks beautiful with all its imperfections. So if you are a Onesie tree decorating control freak and, if you can, step away from the tree its for the children - let them decorate it and leave well alone!

Other '70's type Christmas presents were Cindy not Barbie and her little friend Pippa. I had a house which was basically a few cardboard sheets with a slidy thing that went in the middle. I loved it. That and Girlsworld - the girls head that you decorate with make-up and dye her lovely golden locks with various colours.  These are still in abudence today as are the games like Kurplunk, Buckeroo, Operation and the world's most annoyingly difficult to set up game - Mousetrap. My children have some lovely toys this Xmas - lego, a talking bunny and a scooter and a few stocking fillers. 

I had a rough night last night - in fact I've had several which seem to have lasted for weeks. My eye is twitching today with tiredness.  When will this child sleep through the night? He did alright for the first 6 months I have written evidence of this honest.  Is this payback for my smugness of the other two sleeping through at 7 and 10 weeks respectively?  I now can't get to sleep before I know he is due to wake up normally anytime between 11.30-1.30 am. Then its normally back up at 3.30 ish - 4.30 then 6 ish then wake him up at 8 am.  Its all very quick a couple of ounces of water/milk to settle but I'm still awake. He's now got a cold - or man flu he's a real wimp with his teeth.  The others cut them like proper tough nuts not my cuddly South London mummy's boy. 

A pattern is emerging though that when I've had a rough night I am less alert on my diet.  I had a packet of crisps 25g with my sandwich again. No real reason just because I wanted to. Although it is Thursday and we were aloud this in the 1970's its not ideal. I have completed 4,000 sweat points today also but lack of sleep will be the biggest saboteur to my diet by far.  I am having soup tonight again for my tea as I am out tomorrow and Saturday its fish and chips after the panto.  A lot of work needs to be done between now and Monday.

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Freedom for Tooting!

And "power to the people" were the catch phrases of Citizen Smith the 1977 BBC comedy series starring Robert Lindsey. He played the character of "wolfie" who wanted to be a revolutionary like his hero Che Guevara but not in Cuba in Tooting, South London of all places! thought of this today when my daughter aged 5 said "the teachers have gone bowling haven't they mummy?" - the may all be in their local bowling alley for all I know but she was, of course, referring to today's public sector strikes.

I, for one, support them 100%. Why should they roll over and accept the latest offerings from this piss poor government?  I wouldn't want my 5 year old to be taught by a 68 year old teacher would you?  Isn't there enough young unemployed in this country (hiding in the student statistics - they were all shipped off to university so they can go undercover for a few more years).  The unions fought hard for workers to have rights - they made sure we got paid holidays way back when.  You'll probably be aware by now that my leanings are very much left if not verging on Communism (okay maybe not quite but the principle is sound and christian isn't it?).  I dislike the Tories immensely - granted all politicians on either side are all in it for themselves but this lot more so. David Cameron's lot are playing at being in power and will soon get bored and go back to their luxurious lifestyles. I hated Thatcher but he's really giving her a run for her money.  We all remember when she took our free milk in primary school, sold council houses so now we have a desperate shortage of social housing.  He is shutting public libraries and Surestart Centers. I mean I could go on and on and on but I won't as I have dieting to do and must remain focused at all times.

Today the kids are off, its all a bit hectic, my eldest son is in a strop over his haircut being way too short and the house is a tip. So I'm off to tidy and get in a bit of Wii dancing  - I am aiming to be in the 12 stone region by Xmas its a tall order (8lbs) but one which isn't mission impossible.

Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Fitness DVD v Wii Dance

No I don't work for Nintendo or anything but I have to say I find the Wii Dance to be a fantastic weight loss tool.  Its just so much fun and the latest one (number 3) is the business.  I'm eagerly awaiting the Abba one that is due out soon - great '70's classics.

I managed to catch a bit of the programme This Morning (this morning) - this is a rare event and was only for 10 minutes I might add. Those that work like to think us SAHM (stay at home mum's for anyone that doesn't go on to baby sites) "sit around watching daytime telly all day long" but I hate to disappoint as my telly is rarely on in the day. Every now and then I desperately try and live up to that stereotype but fail miserably.  People have many goals in life, mine is to watch a film of my choosing without any interruption during the daylight hours. That is all.  My life would be complete.

For those who say that and believe me its the first thing that comes out of their bitter and twisted mouth can, quite frankly, DO ONE! They have no idea. Not a clue. I accept their failings and move swiftly on. I have no intention of rattling off what I achieve in the course of the day and night (there are no knocking off hours or finishing). Do they honestly think you can complete any mundane simple task in the home without stopping 15 times minimum? Anyway,  if it were that frigging easy and you are able to watch daytime telly, where are all the offers to have the children and do all the chores at the same time? Yes they're flooding in aren't they.  I digress.

I caught sight of Coleen Nolan one of the sidelined presenters on the show.  She is probably a very nice person and had a fitness DVD out a few years back.  She lost loads of weight, looked great for all of 10 mins and is now back to her size 18 self I would guess.  I have no aspirations to look like Coleen Nolan for those very reasons so would not be buying any fitness DVD she has made. That goes for any of the other minor celebrities who put on loads just so they can do impressive before and after pictures for the DVD. One such 'celebrity' even took dieting pills during training for their DVD.

The latest person in the running for a fat to fit DVD is Martine McCutcheon.  Paper reports suggest she has been told to put on more weight so that the before and after shots will look more impressive. These types of DVD's are a big con, highly deceptive and should be banned quite frankly. Trouble is the women buying them think "oh she's like me" and because they are a familiar face buy into all this bullshit. If I were to buy a fitness DVD then Davina, although highly irritating, would be a safe bet as she has been fit for a very long time and the gorgeous Cindy Crawford who still looks amazing.

But I'm not going to buy any fitness DVD as I'm quite happy looking at computer generated fake people rather than the human fake kind.

I didn't realise she's had 3 DVD's out! I rest my case

Coleen pictured this week
Coleen Nolan at the ITV studios London, England - 23.11.11 Coleen Nolan Picture 3625629 Contactmusic

Monday, 28 November 2011

Monday Weigh In

Another -2lbs - that's 12 lbs in 5 weeks.  Am VERY pleased as it was my birthday on Wednesday and I had a mishap in the week also with my 2 x packet of crisps.  I am out on Friday so another danger zone to get through and at the Panto on Saturday which will mean we'll all be in holiday mode and perhaps a take-away.  Still a long way to go but least I've nearly got a stone off me.

Sunday, 27 November 2011

Onesies are for Twats. Fact.

If you are over the age of 10 (much like ballet pumps) and are of sound mind you should repeat should not be wearing an adult onesie.  Actually scrap that, even if you're over the age of 18 months you should not be wearing one of these things.  WTF is wrong with people?!  Apparently sales of these sexual repellent to your spouse outfits are expected to exceed 750,000 in the UK over the Xmas period. 

George Osborne probably has a onesie
Are you insane?!  Have you just stepped off the set of the 1975's classic One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest?  At what point does a grown woman or indeed a man (I mean my gaydar would be going into overdrive if my man said he's just purchased one of these to kick back into) think that this is a good outfit to wear day or night. I mean do people sleep in these things too?  Do you never ever want your partner to find you sexually attractive again?  Of course, if you are from the George Osborne brigade than this will be highly attractive coupled with a bit of spanking. But for us working classes who induldge in normalish sex - have you just given up? Come on, trust me, this is not a good look.

It does raise the question though - why are they so popular?  I think I might have the answer.  People like to regress back to their childhood. Or maybe not their childhood if it was particularly crappy but certainly to go back to a child like state of mind. Where everything is simple, black and white and the world seems like a nice place to be oblivious to all the horrors that go on in the adult world.

Onesies wearers you need to grow a pair and fast.  Get on with it. You are an adult and you need to act like one for goodness sake and ditch the giant babygrow. And like Forrest Gump said "and that's all I've got to say about that".

Twat alert - this couple  haven't had sex in a long time

Friday, 25 November 2011

Darn you Navy Lace Dress

Yesterday my cheapo clothes that I had ordered from Peacocks (the cheapo clothes store) arrived.  I had ordered a navy lace dress for my night out next week - they only had a 14 in the black lacey number which was a little ambitious at this stage so I thought the navy one would do.  In addition, I got 2 checked shirts - I never wear shirts but for some reason I thought that was a good idea too.

Well I tried the dress on.  I looked like a sack of spuds. It was horrendous. The material was that stretchy cheap kind with the lace over the top and was a nice dress if you had the figure for it.  I did not. I looked like I was 7 months pregnant. I still have that pregnant tummy thing going on where it starts from the top of your rib cage down to where a stomach once was.  So I now have to wear my 'fat going out outfit' for next weeks night out.  Its the same one I wore last year - the outfit is having its yearly trip out of my wardrobe.

It is a lacey black dress (theme going on here - lace is in fashion right?) which flares out and can be worn with every fat girls friend - a pair of black leggings coupled with another fat favourite, gold sparkly shoes. I will accessorise, glam up and will look fine but it just highlighted the fact I have only made a dip in the ocean with my paltry 10 lbs weight loss.  One of the shirts fitted and the other one would have caused someone an injury if the buttons pinged off unexpectedly. So today they are winging there way back to Peacocks.

Last night I made a Gingerbread house for the school - I am pleased to say I didn't stick one sweet on the house and then stick one in my gob.  I thank you.  However, today whilst out I kept thinking oohh I'd love a sausage roll (I never eat these) and other savoury delights.  I did not get a sausage roll and came home from the shops but I did have 2 packets of ready salted crips (133 cals each - not at once - I did make 2 trips) with my lunch. 

A normal person would have been spurred on by the dress rejection but not me I've eaten some crips (with my corned beef sandwich) that I wouldn't have ordinarily eaten or even wanted to eat on this diet. My focus has, by and large, been very good.  I have been up in the night most nights this week with the little fella and am tired and pre-menstrual.  All good reasons but also good excuses.

I am now going to do some serious Wii points and give myself a good mental beating. 

The Gingerbread House

Thursday, 24 November 2011

Operation Xmas

Yup (as my 14 year old step-daughter would say) this needs to be put in place and fast.  I'm fine tuning the details but if there's ever going to be a 'danger, danger, high voltage' situation in my 1970's diet than this is it - the season to get fatter.

Yesterday was my birthday and you can see what I consumed and what I consume everyday in my 'Food Diary'.  I ate too much yesterday. I felt a bit sick to be honest, tetchy and generally yucky afterwards.  I know that there will be days like this throughout my diet but I have to make sure its an odd day here and there and not a free fall into obesity. 

Now, in theory, Christmas should be about (and Jesus of course!) a slightly larger than average meal on the day itself.  I remember years ago a woman said to me "I don't know why people put on so much weight its only one meal".  She obviously had never been to my household where the plates were piled high with food - this was actively encouraged by my dad who incidentally was massive as a child. If you weren't groaning with stomach pains afterwards then you hadn't had a decent Xmas dinner.  It wasn't unusual for us to actually wear loose fitting clothing especially for our Xmas dinner - you'd certainly be changing into your trackie bottoms afterwards that's for sure. A 7lb gain over the Xmas period would be greeted with respect not disgust.

I remember when my husband first had Xmas day dinner at our house - he was shocked at the amount that was besieged onto our plates.  We were like vultures who hadn't seen any meat in days and were partial to a crispy roast potato. As an adult and with children of my own, I am much more restrained at Xmas.  I used to aim for a maximum 3-5lb weight gain around this period and give myself at pat on the back if I'd managed that. 

I do hate that bloated feeling where you've grown a few more chins, your face looks really puffy and your jeans are stretched beyond breaking point - no self respecting pair of denims should have to endure that. 

But that woman was wrong. Xmas isn't just about the dinner on the 25th.  It used to be certainly in the 70's/80's and even possibly the '90's maybe that's why we went mad on the day itself.  These days its the build up to it and that's where Operation Xmas has to come into effect.

Firstly Xmas starts like now.  The Xmas lights are being switched on in our high street tomorrow. I will take the kids to see a 5 min Father Christmas travel up the high street on a back of a landscaping truck with minimal decorations whilst we stand outside Smallworths. This is the new shop which replaced Woolworths when it went bust and some 33,000 people lost their jobs.  I don't know why it went bust as I never seemed to leave the place without spending £30 on stuff I had no intention of buying.  Sadly I could not save it.

We have the school's Xmas fair on Saturday. I am on a night out on 2nd December, 3rd December and again on the 16th and 17th. Then there's the general winding down, kids off school holiday mode, dark nights by the fire and it all equates to eating more and exercising less.  I do not want to put on weight and undo my good work up to this point. 

So what's the plan then.  Well tonight I will be having soup for my tea instead of the usual meatballs this is to counter balance yesterday's diversion. I am also about to go on the Wii dance for the first time this week. I will do this after my meals out on 2nd, 3rd, 16th and 17th - eat soup and make sure a Wii dance has happened.  I'm going to set up a new page called Operation Xmas to keep track of events and exercise.  I need to remain focus at all times.  Wish me luck. 

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Happy Birthday to me...

...Happy Birthday dear Tasha, Happy Birthday to me.  Yes folks I am the grand sum of 38 years old today.  Now I'm not depressed that I'm definitely on the wrong side of 35 and hurtling towards the 40 mark and let me tell you why. Firstly, I prefer even numbers. I don't know why that is - it just is.  I preferred being 36 to 35, 26 to 25, 34 to 33 and I'm much happier being 38 than 37 so next year I won't enjoy being 39 but will much prefer to be 40.

I have noticed the emergence of a few grey hairs to the side - about 4 in total and I feel pretty good I've got to this age without them. I don't have to start dying my hair just yet.  I don't pretend I will go into older middle age skipping and dancing when the lines get deeper and when my eggs dry up completely. Even though I did say to my husband when I was 25 that "I would embrace old age" - he likes to remind me of this when I say "how old do I look?" "what does it matter, I thought you were going to 'embrace' old age" comes his reply.

There is nothing you can do about the year in which you were born. Old age comes to us all  - its my turn to step up. So that smug 20 something mum in the playground who exclaims "oh my god I'm going to be 26 in a few days - how old am I!"will, also, be in her forties one day - granted I'll be in my mid 50's by which point I would like to think I'd have let myself go completely. Remember that when your granny looked ancient even when she was in her 40's/50's? They dressed old for their age in comparison to today's roller skating 50 somethings. 50 is the new 30 we're told - no its not 50 is 50 and 30 is 30 get over it.

I also think that when I'm 70 I'll be wishfully thinking about the time I was young in my late 30's/40's. When you have meals and wheels visiting you and going out to the shops to talk to passers by for company - then you complain about old age and not before. 

It also helps that I married a man 10 years older than me so in his eyes (and words) I will be forever young.  That will do for me.

Tuesday, 22 November 2011


Fred for PM!  Since doing this blog I have become quite attached to 'Fred' the iconic (alright not quite god like) character that is associated with Homepride Flour. He was dreamt up by two Americans who pitched the idea to the company in 1965.  Here are some more interesting facts on the history of Homepride if you are interested - or not! 

You really know you are hitting the late 30's when you get excited about a 'Fred rolling pin' that you can purchase along with 1 token - coming to a home near me soon.  Oh and that little fella sitting on the counter will also, hopefully, be winging his way to my kitchen if no one outbids me on ebay.

The purpose of this post is not to focus on Freddie baby but more about bread.  Today the Daily Mail or the Daily Hate as its sometimes called (mind you we all still read it - its the paper equivalent of shouting at the telly) ran a 2 page article about us Brits and the decline in our consumption of bread since the mid '70's.  When we do eat bread we are eating bigger slices (erm old news fellas already said that at the start of my blog) some 20g more per slice by all accounts. 

The decline in sales has been put down to various faddy diets like the Duken and Atkins diet.. They are faddy people you aren't going to be staying on them for the rest of your life.  Even Slimming World which I was always a big advocate for, limits the amount of bread you can have, 28g but anything after that its massively 'synful'.  I really struggled with the concept of eating bread based on my previous trips to Slimming World - but look how that worked out for me!

It has become quite fashionable to diss bread (remember that school saying?). In fact, when I say I have a sandwich for my lunch I get a raised eyebrow and I can see them thinking "you're not going to lose any weight eating that stuff I can tell you".

I'd probably get more kudos if I said I'm having a Kit Kat Chunky and that is all for my lunch - I'm sure they'd buy into that if I came up with some old bollocks that it is X amount of calories and the sugar and fat content are perfect at lunchtime thus ensuring my metabolism works overtime ready for my next meal.  Yes I could have the 'Kit Kat Chunky diet' and it would be far more acceptable than 'Having a small sandwich for lunch diet'.

But I am losing weight and I am eating bread - wholemeal bread that is. I actually prefer it but I would have no problems eating the white stuff. 

Let them eat bread - not cake!

Monday, 21 November 2011

Monday Weigh In

-2lbs - surprised at that given I had a day off on the Saturday.  Now if I can lose 4lbs this week I will be 14lbs lighter than I was when I started this blog.  Nice way to start a Monday.

Sunday, 20 November 2011

Heartburn Centrale

That was me last night.  Whilst I did enjoy my day off the 1970's diet for my birthday (not as much as I thought I would as I do enjoy being hungry now) it gave me god awful heartburn.  I couldn't get to sleep for ages and was woken several times by the little fella - I eventually took him into the spare room and slept with him there. Not one to dish out any tea and sympathy, my husband remarked "I can't think why - you only had wine, cheese, chocolate, bacon and chorizo".  "I didn't go mad" I retorted right back at him. Define mad I thought to myself - masses of portions Diane Keaton style? Apparently she gorged herself on some 20,000 calories a day whilst dating Woody Allen so says her autobiography.  No way near that but I would definitely have consumed double, if not more, than a normal day on my 1970's diet. 

Come to think of it I did suffer with heartburn prior to my diet which obviously was down to my cheese fetish and general crap eating. Since I've been on this diet I haven't had any heartburn.

So for damage limitation I made sure I completed 3400 sweat points on the Wii and we also had a stroll round the woods today. I hate having to do exercise because I need to to counter balance food intake - this is something I was forever doing.  So whilst I had a lovely day yesterday I don't plan on having one like that for quite some time.

Time will tell if this has had a impact on my weight loss -that time will be tomorrow when I weigh in. See you then.

Saturday, 19 November 2011

A day in the life....

....has to be my all time favourite Beatles track - heard it yesterday when I was off to get pummeled by my Osteopath.  I will speak of this more another time as today, I can hardly contain my excitement, we are off sans les enfants.  Now for those without children it is very easy to 'pop out' and come and go as you please. But for the rest of us it does require a military operation. In fact, the last time I 'popped out' was probably in 2003 so let me have this contained excitement if you please.

Yes, its my 38th birthday next week so I thought we'd go and have a walk around the shops.  Normally I run round with the buggy at break neck speed (I know I have 1 hour 30 mins max even with snacks and drinks to complete my mission) and plan the route so as to cram as many shops on my list as possible within that time frame. That's why, in general, I will get everything on line - apart from the stress induced trip I have just described above - there's really no other way to shop. 

Today will be different I'm going to stop, potter and mosey around.  For lunch we are having Tapas and wine so I will be off my 1970's diet for one day only.  Now I'm not going to go mad like I would normally do. A bit like if we've been invited to a wedding on our own - I think I'm 18 again and can knock back countless vodka and tonics (slimline of course makes all the difference). Its only when my teeth go numb, I start getting louder and louder, repeating myself just in case the poor person next to me hasn't heard and I start requesting man type drinks like Whiskey to finish the evening that it really is time to go home. There's nothing worse than having to look after 3 children when you are hung over the toilet seat with them saying "mummy are you ok?"  This is a rare occurance so please hold off that call to social services.  I rarely drink these days (1 small glass on a Saturday) and for those exact reasons.

I think a birthday treat is fine - I haven't had chocolate, crisps or anything of that nature for nearly 4 weeks. To be honest I haven't felt deprived in the slightest - I'm just going to enjoy my lunch today and get on that Wii tomorrow. 

Gone eating. Be back tomorrow.

Thursday, 17 November 2011

Video killed the radio star 1979

..."I heard you on the wireless" It was me!! Yes I was a star for about 3 minutes today on BBC London talking to Vanessa Feltz.  Anyone would think I'd been on prime time telly the level of excitement it generated from me.  I was just looking at @The1970sDiet on twitter when a tweet from the show said they were discussing ethnic mixed schools in London.  I tweeted back saying my son had Iranian, Polish, Egyptian and Italian children in his class (one of each of those I might add) which I thought was great. Next thing I know I'm live on the phone in. I quickly texted my husband who was working at a friends and who I was due to visit that morning.  What's the point of being on the radio if there's no one to hear you I figured.

I like Vanessa Feltz. I like her style of writing in the Daily Express and think shes intelligent and very quick thinking.  I felt very at ease chatting I must say. Now I wasn't being PC or anything I genuinely think my children benefit from having children from different nationalities in their class.  I don't think they're being held back as one caller said. Maybe its the quality of teaching but they are all very well catered for and are in various sets for ability and extra help is available for those where English is a second language.  My children learn about different cultures and religions but as I said on the radio, they also had a British Week where they made Union Flags (its only Jack if it is flying at sea - fact!), St George Crosses, Maypole dancing, Cornish Pastie making, Scarecrows and ate Fish and Chips. I don't recall any parent from an ethnic background saying this smacked of right wing fascism which can be linked to the Union Flag/George Cross at times.  They also had International Week and dressed up in various costumes.

I also mentioned my Iranian mummy friend who I took a shine to when she asked me innocently on day one "what is plimsolls"? She makes Iranian rice for me which is lovely - she makes the top layer of the rice go all crispy and as one who likes her food Vanessa knew exactly what I was talking about.

My bubble was quickly burst, however, when I got a call from the school to say my daughter had been sick and to come and collect her. Normal service has been resumed.

Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Me, My Blog and I

So its nearly 4 weeks since I started my blog on my 1970's diet.  So what I have learnt about this weird virtual wittering world that I have entered into?

I've learnt to get to grips with 'gadgets' and 'badges' cross referencing my blog with my twitter account and joined blogging communities via mumsnet and britmums. I'm sure there are others but haven't come across them just yet.  I've followed other bloggers on twitter and briefly checked out their blogs.  After my initial excitement of having blog views from Russia and other foreign lands I came to realise that they weren't interested in the musing of a 37 year olds' diet but rather wanted to sell you some get rich quick scheme.

My  typos and spellings can be decidedly dodgy at times and I have a habit of using the same phrases.  I have come across the word "rant" a lot -  this seems to be the  in word in the blogging community. To have an opinion and voice it loudly is ranting. I don't think I am a ranter per say - I generally will pipe up about something I have a view on e.g my opportunity knocks post today went quite unexpectedly into perhaps X-factor is a modern day version of Roman Entertainment. Now this isn't something I'm pondering on a regular basis it pops into my head and leaves at the same speed it came in at.  The trouble with writing it down is it gives it more longevity than it would ordinarily have in day to day speaking.

I've had my first angry comment - a touchy subject which I'm sure will not endear me to many working mums who think I'm living in some ivory towers (not the case) but its my blog and I'll type if I want to.

I set myself a time limit on writing a post and adding pictures (30 mins max).  Although I can type at 120 wpm (like to brag about that RSIII level no less and shorthand which is redundant now) I have a house and toddler to take care of during the day and a to do list which isn't going to tick itself off. It is also a good reminder that actions speak louder than words so whilst I'm writing about sweat points I think - time to do some!

There's a mass of blogs out there some 11,500 million all wanting to get noticed no doubt.  My only objective when I started this blog was to lose weight and I am happy to say it still is.  Don't get me wrong in the first week I was totally Stats obsessed - checking them every 30 mins or so but the novelty soon wore off and now I'm much more sane about it all.  My husband is getting less of a blogger widow and normality is slowly returning although prior to turning the computer off at night I do announce that "I'm just gonna check me stats" to which he sighs and locks up.

So is it making me lose weight - absolutely yes! I write my food log, exercise log everyday. As lunch now takes about 5 minutes to eat I will now have a coffee and write instead of plonking myself down and delving deep into the treat cupboard.

What my grandparents would have made of this isn't anyone's guess I know for sure - what a load of claptrap, self-indulgent nonsense from the 'me time' generation and they'd be right!


Opportunity Knocks

Remember that talent show? It ran in the 60's through to the '70's and then was re-branded with Bob Monkhouse as the host in the late 80's. The theme tune was sung by Kiki Dee and I heard it somewhere the other day.  It was today's equivalent to Britain's Got Talent.  Although as I child I watched this, as an adult, I don't watch any talent show (not unless you include Strictly Come Dancing which I watch for the hair, dresses, sequins and of course the dancing) including the dreaded X-factor.

The majority of people I know do watch this show religiously. I know what's going on in the show via newspapers but  I have only watched a few minutes here and there over the years when I'm flicking through channels.  I'm not really moved by people singing and was never into karaoke. I've never had any desire to be on the stage singing - maybe that's why it doesn't appeal to me. I don't think I'm above it or that I'm too high brow - it just bores me. Why are people so into it?  My sister says that after a hard week at work she likes to 'dum' down and finds it relaxing.  Is it escapism from the daily grind?  People always say "never discuss politics or religion". If a conversation ever gets a bit 'deep' i.e talking about the state of the economy its quickly brushed over to something that is light and fluffy. I have a friend who chooses not to buy newspapers or watch the news because its "depressing".  It was only when the riots took place over the summer that people did actually engage in a bit of politics for the first time in years. Briefly the state of the country took precedent over who's going to be booted out of X-factor.

Could it be that X-factor is the modern day equivalent to Roman Entertainment?  By that I mean the following:-

quoted from

These shows were usually free to the public. The emperors believed it was a good way to keep the people of Ancient Rome happy and content with the way the city was being governed. The government provided free bread and free entertainment - a combination they believed would keep happy the many unemployed people in Rome.

With unemployment possibly reaching 3 million next year - YOU DECIDE!!

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Slim mums I salute you

Yes I do, I really do.  I admire your self-control and restraint especially if you are a foodie and have several ankle bitters to take care of.  I think its very easy to be a fat mum.  Food, whether you like it or not, becomes a major factor in your life once you have kids.  If you are a foodie, greedy type buffet girl like myself then there is undoubtedly going to be trouble ahead. 

I used to work - yes a long time ago.  I had Saturday jobs and paper rounds from 14 onwards and started full-time work when I was 18.  I worked in the banking industry and was drunk for the majority of the time.  It was great fun and I have fond memories.  We even had a single camp bed in the staff room in case anyone didn't quite make it home that night.  After that I worked in the 'big smoke'. I loved the job but I wanted to be pregnant and have children.   I gave up a month before my eldest was born - we toyed with me going back part-time (2 days 1 at home) but I couldn't bare to leave him in a nursery with 17 year olds 'looking' after him.

I've yet to meet a mum who puts her child in nursery and doesn't proclaim "they love it". Yes, that's right they love being dropped off at 7 am in the morning and being picked up at 6pm.  No they don't. They clearest indication is when they scream their heads off (as they can't talk you see) when you drop them off. They stop crying after you leave as they accept defeat that you will not be returning for a very long time.  Even when the nursery staff gives the child food they are allergic too or the numerous accidents they encounter - I have yet to come across a mum who takes the child out of nursery. I know, I know a lot of people don't have a choice but how much are they really clearing from their salary once they pay out £50 a day for childcare?  So they can buy stuff? Have a 2 week holiday somewhere? Is it really worth it? 

We didn't have nurseries in the 70's - yes it was different times but this is a recent phenomenon and one which, I believe, we will look back on and think what an earth were we thinking.

Anyway, onto work.  Yes, I don't recall being constantly asked for food every 5 minutes by my colleagues. Or asked "what's for lunch" "what's for pudding". You can just please yourself with regard to what and when you want to eat pre-kids.  Now its an entirely different matter. Everything centers around feeding people.  My eldest 2 shout out their orders in the morning - "plain white toast", "brown bread plain", "brown bread with butter", "brown bread with jam - not cut up" "thick porridge with mixed up jam" "can we have a biscuit now" "what's in my lunch box" "can I have one of those cakes" "can we have a snack" "when's dinner" "what's for pudding" "is the poppadom man coming today (this would have been a Saturday)?" and so it goes on and on and on. Even worse in the school holidays and I have a life time of those to negotiate.  I plan the weekly menu (some people think its anal - I think it saves me money and stops me having to think even more about food) so I can just look at the blackboard and say right that's for tea.   

So for those slim mummies who over the years have adopted self restraint and not picked at a few crisps here and there, popped a biscuit, cake into their gob whilst dishing out the various treats. I salute you - and I hope to be joining you very, very soon.

Monday, 14 November 2011

Monday Weigh In

2lb off.  I'm okay with this, not thrilled but 8lb in 3 weeks isn't bad.  I did loads of exercise last week but I did have toast during the week for lunch a couple of times (see food log) so will cut that out as probably had too much spread.  I also had a sliver of jam pudding on Sunday. I have to be extra careful this week as we are out Saturday for my birthday and having lunch at a Tapas bar. Remain focused at all times!

Sunday, 13 November 2011

The Bisto Kids

Well its Sunday and it wouldn't be the 1970's if you didn't have a roast on this day.  The Bisto Kids featured heavily in the '70's - I personally can't stand gravy it makes everything go soggy where's the sense in that? Good job none of us like the stuff (although I don't know if the kids would as I've never offered it up) but if we did then I'm sure I would be calling in the Bisto Kids and not be making it from scratch. 


In good old fashioned 1970's style I overcooked the lamb today within an inch of its life. It was a bit too pink so I whacked it back into the oven with the potatoes and of course over cooked it.  It is the 1970's diet after all.  My mum always over cooks meat - her speciality would have to be roast beef.

My Aunt Debbie recently gave me a comprehensive list of what she had in the 1970's and it sounded far superior to anything that landed on my plate.  I also won (ebay's great isn't it - you win things instead of buying them) "Day by Day Cooking" 1977 by Mary Berry. She featured on the The Great British Bake Off recently.  I was actually surprised at the recipes the vast majority wouldn't look out of place in today's kitchen e.g Lamb with Apricots (that is a recipe I have done from my Tana Ramsey book), Steak and Kidney Pudding, Beef Wellington and even moules marinieres. This comes as no surprise as French cooking was the bee all and end all in the 70's. I mean they really were at the top of their game.  I think they've rested on their laurels somewhat and need to move with the times as I don't think French cooking is the finest in the world and hasn't been for decades.

Some did look pretty ghastly (maybe its just the 70's photography) I must say - Salmon and Noodle Bake, Pork Hongroise (?), stuffed pork chops,  egg mousse, marrow and tomato casserole and where would we be without the celebration gammon?  The puddings were pretty safe in this book. The traditional ones and lots of piping going on Fanny Craddock style (more of her at Christmas time).  I had never heard of 'Savarin' a curious sponge looking number with cream, syrup, honey and rum.

Celebration Gammon

So tomorrow is my weekly weigh in. How will I do?  Have I been good or bad? I hate that dieting expression born out of slimming clubs "have you been good this week"? like you're some 10 year old.  I remember standing in line once to get weighed when a fellow dieter said "I haven't been bad this week but I think I might have put on as I've eaten too much fruit"! Yes I always find its the fruit that piles on the pounds.

I have done lots of exercise and been hungry for the majority of the week.  Tune in tomorrow...

Pork Hongroise

Saturday, 12 November 2011

A trim at both ends

Warning this may offend - if you are prone to being easily violated by words then please leave the blog immediately.

Today I was booked in for some essential woman maintenance.  I had a hair cut booked at 8.15 am - 8.15 am I kid you not.  The only available slot on a Saturday. Only a mum would think that was okay - as a mum of 3 I'm not convinced its okay or even that it should be allowed. Naturally the little fella slept in till 9.30 am - where is the justice in this cruel, cruel world?  In any event my hair was in desperate need of a trim.  This event only takes place about 4 x a year - you can allow me this treat so I had to swallow the crack of dawn time slot.

I have been growing it since last September when I asked for it a little shorter.  The girl (lets call her Steph as that was her name) decided to cut it just below my ears. My hair is curly so it rode up even further. I could have cried right there and then in the chair.  I know most mums decide to get their locks cut after childbirth but this was taking it to another level i.e the piss. She left that day but due to the hairdressers secret code she could not tell me this fact.  I like to think we had a good relationship up to that point and I always tipped her well - maybe she wanted to have a final experiment I don't know.  Upon my return to the house and feeling very fragile, fat and ugly I proclaimed "I hate it" "look what she's done".  My husband responded by bursting out laughing - in between bursts the odd "no its fine" whilst trying to stiffle the sniggers.  As the evening wore on and he kept glancing across and laughing out loud whilst also remarking it resembled a "space helmet" and at one point the words "Captain James T Kirk" came out of his mouth.  He did not have sex that night - well not with me at any rate.

So after today's trim I then went for another trim but down the other end. Now I have no qualms about this getting taken off and trimmed to an inch of its life.  The therapist who runs the salon is a lovely woman who is in her late 50's. She tried a new wax treatment on me and I am pleased to say I did not look like a plucked chicken like I normally do after a bikini wax. I always feel better about myself after a nice hair cut and a tidy in the downstairs department. Seeing as clothes are out of the question at the mo this is the next best thing.

We got chatting about various things - I always find it amusing the general chit chat us ladies can have whilst someone is ripping off your pubic hairs, legs a kimbo with wax. We were talking about C-sections (I've had 3, she has had 2) and the medical difficulties we have both encountered.  When I enquired about her children she said her first died when he was 7 1/2 and her second was now 43.  I was stunned and felt awful for her - I didn't enquire as to the details but there are moments like these that really put your life into perspective with regard to dieting and the like.  I know I am truely blessed with my lot and do thank god most days but just in case I forget I got a good reminder today.

Friday, 11 November 2011

Keep on playing those Mind Games

Whilst watching a recording of Vintage TV (yes there is such a thing) amongst some very bad tracks of 1973 there were a few gems and this, my friends, was one of them. John Lennon in a rare video where he's been let out alone. What a beautiful TUNE (in facebook voice) and equally beautiful voice. Slade were very popular in the seventies and that god awful "Merry Xmas Everybody" number was Top of the Pops on my first Christmas.  I hate it with a passion, in particular, cue the bit he screams "its Christmas" its up there on my top 5 tracks I love to hate.

I do love a bit of Boney M it has to be said though - you can't beat it. Imagine my delight when it appeared on Wii dance 2.  Speaking of which I need to get moving - I'm behind on sweat points and need to cram a workout into my already busy day.  I have even had the time to make Mr 1970's a treacle pudding and chocolate flapjacks to make up for the lack of bread this morning.  I did not lick the bowl or do any of my normal quality control checks.

Thursday, 10 November 2011

I am a Russian Doll

I purchased these for me my daughter as a Xmas present.  When I was testing them out earlier (ok I was playing with them) I thought they were very symbolic of my 1970's diet.  I had these as a child, my name is Natasha (good solid Russian name) and I do kind of resemble the doll at the back - give or take the neck scarf. The blusher is a bit heavier than I would normally go for - she does look a bit like Aunt Sally out of Worzel Gummidge ( I am hoping I will be more like the doll on the right in a month or so. I think I may need to be hospitalised if I ever look like the doll at the front.

The Lady is a Tramp

Yes I am - I really am. The lyrics are so true "she gets too hungry for dinner at 8..(yup).she never bothers with people she hates (so true) ..that's why the lady is a tramp". 

This tune probably sums me up quite nicely at the mo - I do get very hungry indeed Frank and I most certainly cannot wait until 8 o'clock to eat my dinner.  As to being a tramp you've hit the nail right on the head. I am down to one pair of saggy around the knees black jeans. The blue pair are worn out in the crotch region - very fetching it may be on some young blond twenty something but not quite the look I'm aiming for on the school run. 

So today I have on leggings, smock summer dress, short cardie and my two tone brown suede boots (these were purchased from  - they make boots made to your calf measurements - hooray!) topped off with my massive tan poncho which I wore when I was pregnant.  The outfit is every fat woman's staple a bit like fit flops (whilst very comfy ladies they aren't going to work miracles), diet coke, handbags and shoes.  Most ladies like shoes and handbags but the larger variety in particular - we can get into them and wear them without the ordeal that trying on clothes can be.

Don't get me wrong I love clothes and in my little fantasy world I am a smart, high heel wearing, sophisticated 30 something but the reality is somewhat different.  Evenings are trackie bottoms and a vest top - good job my husband still finds attractive as I would be in trouble.  I do have my eye on a blue tartan poncho which I may treat myself on my birthday but I am holding out for the clothes shopping until I've hit my mid target at the very least.  I am so determined to lose the weight it seems such a waste and soul destroying to go out and buy replacement size 16 clothes.

I do want to look nice for my husband (cue feminist keeling over). He is 10 years older than me and it would be nice if he had a foxy wife. The other day he was very sweet and said "the trouble is you look hot when you're large and hot when you're not" - this was in addition, I might add, to him saying I was like a "family pack" enough to go around!  I think there was a compliment amongst that lot.

I never see the point of ladies who go out of their way to wear something that their husband doesn't find them remotely attractive in or dye their hair that poxy red colour. Who thought that was attractive?  "He can fffing shove it if he don't like it" - why, why, why would you want to turn your partner off?  I don't get it -  works both ways. If my husband wore something that was hideous and starting doing weird things with his bald head then I think my lust for him may diminish rapidly.

Unfortunately this lady will have to remain a tramp for a little bit longer.