Wednesday, 4 May 2016

Fitness Goals = Richard Ashcroft's cheekbones

Now, if you don't know who Richard Ashcroft is you need to leave immediately!  Only kidding, he only wrote arguably the best album of the 1990s.

Better than Oasis..can I even say.... The Stone Roses? Open to an intense debut by hardcore Indie fans.  Anyhow, that album, Urban Hymns was immense.  It came out in 1997 - the year of my travelling around Europe and also the soundtrack to an ill fated 'make or break' holiday with my ex. The clue is in that last sentence.

Wednesday, 20 April 2016

Parentdom - The Rise Of The Parent Martyr

Yes. You heard right. I don't know if this phrase has been coined yet but if it hasn't I'm bagging it thank you very much.  I've just done a quick google and the only thing I can see is it being the 'authority of a parent'. Well forget that for me its the constant parent type articles in the form of martyrdom.

Sadly, I don't see it becoming unfashionable anytime soon. Writers, bloggers, newspapers are getting a lot of mileage on the struggles of parenthood and it always reverts back to that wailing "but what about me?!" parent. For example, you'll see some regurgitated crap along the lines of  before I had kids my hair and clothes looked nice but now they don't and I look shit. I'm fairly confident that I would look shit with or without kids as I'm partial to a diary cream slice. In fact, minus children I could probably fill up my little singleton basket with all manner of fattening food. If I didn't have kids I wouldn't cook from scratch (another phrase - its just getting food and cooking it - not hard) and this would mean one thing and one thing only baby - TAKE AWAYS!! I digress. Back to the parent martyrs.

Or, now I have kids (erm the ones you wanted presumably?) I can't sit on my laptop, Iphone without being interrupted cue groan and some illustrated picture of you and your first world problem. Oh how the masses chuckle at these depictions of parenthood. Oh yes that's so true let's share on facebook.

Oh look! Look at this mess - sigh now I have kids my house isn't perfect. Yes, like it would be pre kids? Or, I don't go out now as I have kids and they sap and drain all my energy. Oh I can't read a book on holiday because I have kids. Shut the %&@!! it's sooooo BORING! People who don't have kids must read this drivel and think - crikey we made a good choice there it sounds a right old hassle.

No it's not really but there is a whole industry based on making parenthood some sort of martydom. Like we all struggle on, look at us giving up everything for the sake of our children but we're not really happy at all. I don't even find these things amusing anymore. I just think get off your lazy arse and put some effort in. Why can't you switch channels from cbeebies to the news? Why can't you sling your kids out into the garden and tell them to come off the devices? Because you can't be arsed and its much easier to write and moan about it than to actually just get on with it like thousands of parents before us did.

The other day on twitter a PR company were looking for parents to feature in a documentary - they wanted people to get in touch on "how they did it". Say what? Parenting. How you do parenting. Are you serious? How do you think? How do you think millions before us had children and raised them?

Another article was bemoaning the fact of the differences between the 70s and now. But there was a slight variation normally these articles are about how kids had more freedom in a safer society. Very true. However, this parent had managed to bring it back on herself (there's a shock) to say that parents had it easier as they could kick the kids out in the garden etc. The article was entitled "Are parents getting a raw deal?" Basically she spent the whole article telling us that her children were in charge and therefore she was getting a raw deal having to entertain these feckers. Here's a thought - unplug the devices, kick them out in the garden, don't let them have everything and say (as I often do) "I'm not here to entertain you". Parent Martyrs make a rod for their own back and then write about how hard it all is.

I'm pretty sure our ancestors weren't documenting the hassle of having to get to the workhouse again with those frigging kids. Oh before I had kids I could come here on my own!

Yes there is an element of truth - the sight of lego all over the floor can make a grown woman think dark thoughts. However, it is brief.  Less than 5 seconds that's not even time to draw or write about it. I, and I'm sure lots of my friends will agree, that as you're sweeping it together you appreciate that your kids are being messy, creative and you'll be missing the sight of  this same lego strewn across the floor 10 years from now.  Yes, that's right when those bloggers/writers will be depicting themselves weeping and wailing at the same children they couldn't wait to shove up to bed 10 years earlier so they can drink some prosecco. Oh yes, this is the drink of parentdom. We must drink prosecco.

Anyhow, on the weight loss front -1lb this week so back on track. I did a kettlebell work out on Monday and cycled 10 miles today!  Onwards and downwards - now off to pick up lego and count my blessings that there will still be lots of this stuff in my house for years to come. Because it will be a sad, sad day when there is none left to pick up and then I'll be drinking that awful prosecco!

Until next time..

Thursday, 14 April 2016

Things That Piss Me Off

How's that for a title? She's back. Let's get down to the nitty gritty. Two weeks off at Easter and no fitness class or weigh in - weighed in yesterday and I'd put a one pound on. Thanking you - although in real terms, in an ideal world, I would have rocked the weight loss and dropped another 5lb but this is the real world and this is me.  I'll take that as normally I can easily put on at least 3lbs when the kids are off which then takes me a few weeks to shift.

Thursday, 24 March 2016

Wednesday Weigh In

Well howdy folks.  Let's get straight into it - 1.5lbs off this week. That's 13lbs lost since the start of February. I am so tantalising close to my first stone.  Now, last week I maintain and the previous week its was only .5lb.  I did go off track so there were no surprises and I could have done better last week. But I have never put on since I started which I'm very happy with.  I don't care its not falling off - like my sister said "you've got to live". Very true.

I really noticed the weight loss today whilst riding my bike to the fitness/weigh in class. When I first ventured out at the beginning of the year - I had to stop 3 x to get up a very long steep incline of a road. Today, I got to the top of the road without stopping. Now, my lungs were burning and I was panting somewhat but I didn't stop = progress. That said I now loath my chunky Halfords bike and desperate to get another bike but the choice and information on bikes is overwhelming.

Given that 2016 has been pretty shit in lots of ways. I'm also happy that I didn't derail myself off course. My dad is now home and recovering so that's great. He lives to see a few more years yet. However, its now been my husbands turn to be ill (he recently celebrated his 52nd birthday if you can call it that!) - high blood pressure.

Although, I'm not meant to tell people but this doesn't count right?! In fact, I think I've told most people I've come into contact with. So, if you are one of them - don't mention it! His blood pressure was 177/155 I kid you not.  Now, I've googled lots about it and its pretty darn high - hypertension level 3.  I think he's always had it but a particularly exhausting start to the year, lots of other stuff going on, has in no way helped.  His head felt like it was in a vice constantly coupled with dizzy spells and nausea. He had a BP monitor for a day and the hospital said whilst high it wasn't an emergency.

They call high blood pressure the silent killer but there hasn't been anything silent about this! Untreated it can cause strokes (I have firm instructions to whisk him off to dignitas if he becomes wheelchair bound) and heart attacks.  Thankfully, it is coming down and he said to the doctor "I can't leave here without medication otherwise my wife will kill me!" so a low dose of tablets should hopefully sort him out. That is assuming its not some underlying condition.  Oh the joys of everyone getting older!

I am writing this on Thursday and I am pleased to report he is much better. I think a rest was just what he needed.  It does make you take stock though - I need to keep healthy (my husband is 10 years older than me) and fit to make sure the kids have one parent around.  All being well, there's a good few years left in the hubster yet but I never take that for granted. No one knows when their time is up. I also (I'm a cheery optimistic type can't you tell or I maybe I'm just a realist - none of us are getting out alive) think this is the year we stop putting off writing our wills. People assume that if you're married that every thing is dandy but it doesn't work like that. If one person dies without a will things can get messy, ugly and complicated. People often come out of the woodwork when in life they couldn't give a monkeys about the deceased. Any whiff of some money all of a sudden they're back in contact.  So, that's on my to do list marked urgent.

In other news, the kids break up early for the Easter Holidays. Yeeharrr - although the weather looks decidedly crap for the bank holidays.  Nevertheless, we shall kick back, relax and switch off those pesky alarm clocks. Although, it was a short half term they all appear to be knackered.

Right, off to get them but will be back during the holidays for more chit chat a la 1970s style.

Ta ta for now

Thursday, 10 March 2016

The Granny Ring?!

Never heard of it? Neither had I until this week, when in a matter of fact manner, one of the dad's at my son's cycling club told me I had a granny ring!  Say what?!  He was merely pointing out that my bike was what the serious cyclists (you know the ones that know the technical names for a bike, makes, cleats etc and can do 20 miles in an hour) call someone who can essentially peddle up a huge hill because of their granny ring.